Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It is not uncommon that influential people have a more impact on people rather than ordinary people. The question here arises is whether celebrities are more influential to younger people or not. It is my firm belief that it is true and in which follows I will elaborate on my viewpoint.
To begin with, newer generations have more access to celebrities through online networking systems, which they usually fond of it and constantly use, and therefore it will have more impacts on them. The last few decades, technology advancing at a past fast pace and people who raised with this time are most likely to use and master newer technology, social networking systems, and online platform. One tends to be affected more by his or her aspired person, role models, and famous persons. My personal experience can shed a light to this. My classmates and friends follow celebrities, film stars, singers, fashion gurus, business moguls on facebook, instagram, snapchat and so on. One of my friends was deeply interested in fashion and she always tries to follow trend of models. But gradually it affected on her everything such as she started believing everything celebrities say without a second mind and doubts.
Secondly, younger generations are less matured that elders and more likely to believe others, and some people do not have enough ability to rationally think before act. Youth is stage of life trying to figure out who we are, what to do, and so on. At this moment, people tend to be influenced by others easily. Drawing from my personal experience, when I was watching a talk show with my parents, when a famous movie star of mongolia said that we should care more about our nature, I was easily persuaded by him and felt more motivated. On the other hand, my parents were more concerned about a claim and reasons rather than who said it.
To sum up, all aforemost mentioned reasons lead us to draw the conclusion that famous people have more important to young people. It is mainly due to the fact that edge-cutting advent of technology allowed more influence on them, and their opinions are more likely to be changed by celebrities because some of them are not matured enough to consider things different from various angles and viewpoints.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 339, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... are most likely to use and master newer technology, social networking systems, a...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, such as, it is true, to begin with, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 13.8261648746 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 43.0 43.0788530466 100% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 52.1666666667 105% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1874.0 1977.66487455 95% => OK
No of words: 384.0 407.700716846 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.88020833333 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.4267276788 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60969725222 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 212.727598566 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.578125 0.524837075471 110% => OK
syllable_count: 593.1 618.680645161 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.1021045869 48.9658058833 123% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.235294118 100.406767564 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.5882352941 20.6045352989 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.23529411765 5.45110844103 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.246621761305 0.236089414692 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0766555755788 0.076458572812 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0534566996215 0.0737576698707 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.157576445513 0.150856017488 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0273588287411 0.0645574589148 42% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 11.7677419355 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.32 10.9000537634 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.35 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 86.8835125448 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.