The opinions of celebrities such as famous entertainers and athletes are more important to younger people than they are to older people | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.

With more and more celebrities appearing on the social media, the public starts to concern about their impact on teenagers. From my perspective, I agree that their opinions would influence more on teenagers.

Firstly, young people are more likely to be influenced by others opinion, especially when they admire them. Young people have not developed their own point of view on many things, because they don't have much experience. So they often tend to trust others and are vulnerable to unhealthy opinions. I have a friend, Jenny, who was a fan of a rapper when she was about 12 years old. The words that rapper said was quite offensive sometimes, and influenced by him, Jenny became more aggressive to people around her. But today as an adult, Jenny is shameful about the bad words that posted on her social media. Apparently, she won't take the words of the rapper seriously today, but it did changed her behavior when she was young.

Furthermore, the celebrities are more popular among young people. Young people are often more curious and eager to gain more information, and they have more time to entertain comparing to adults, so they are more exposed to the opinion of celebrities. For instence, I have a cousin mike who is in middle school, and he spends most of his time on TV and phone, watching soccer games or some sort of talent show. Meanwhile, his brother who has worked for a few years, shows no interest in these programs. Older people are often less interested in celebrities opinion, since they would rather spend time working or connecting with people around them; while younger people are tend to be attracted by famous people since they seems cool.

To conclude, I think opinions of celebrities are more important to young people, since they are more likely to be influenced, and they often spend more time with celebrities online comparing to older ones.

Votes

Essay Categories

Independent TOEFL Writing

Comments

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 59, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'others'' or 'other's'?
Suggestion: others'; other's
...ple are more likely to be influenced by others opinion, especially when they admire th...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 194, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...nt of view on many things, because they dont have much experience. So they often ten...
^^^^
Line 3, column 686, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: 'change'
Suggestion: change
... the rapper seriously today, but it did changed her behavior when she was young. Fur...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 724, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'seem'
Suggestion: seem
...e attracted by famous people since they seems cool. To conclude, I think opinions ...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
apparently, but, first, firstly, furthermore, so, while, i think, sort of

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 9.8082437276 20% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 43.0788530466 79% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1564.0 1977.66487455 79% => OK
No of words: 321.0 407.700716846 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.8722741433 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.23278547379 4.48103885553 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5149083341 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 212.727598566 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.538940809969 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 491.4 618.680645161 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.86738351254 321% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.956739765 48.9658058833 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.266666667 100.406767564 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.4 20.6045352989 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.86666666667 5.45110844103 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.365045171981 0.236089414692 155% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.114554672516 0.076458572812 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.11949670609 0.0737576698707 162% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.225349537945 0.150856017488 149% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.100664404551 0.0645574589148 156% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 11.7677419355 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 58.1214874552 101% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.97 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.97 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 86.8835125448 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.