Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
First of all, the older generation tend to believe the opinions of celebrities. This is probably because the older society is more hierarchy-based than today. Obedience is the most important part of a hierarchy-based structure. Therefore, the elderly are easily affected by well-known people, especially celebrities on TV. An experience of my grandparents is a compelling example of this. They have been following a political TV program called “Gondola's Show” for many years. The host of the show is called Celest Chen, who always provides biased opinions and misleading facts. Her opinions will definitely not be accepted by the younger generation. However, her words are always valued by my grandparents. The situation gets worse when it comes to voting because the older generation are easily influenced by the opinions of these celebrities. Thus, they always chose to trust celebrities rather than making decisions by themselves.
Secondly, the younger generation are often better educated since most of them received higher education. As a result, they are more likely to make wiser judgment based on their profound knowledge. For example, female celebrities like to recommend cosmetics they prefer. Although their recommendation looks convincing, I would not blindly take these suggestions. It is obvious that younger people are less affected by celebrities. In contrast, older people in my family are easily influenced by the advertisement made by celebrities. They enjoy watching advertisements on TV and bought a lot of unnecessary products such as cosmetics or medical products. These products look amazing from the surface; however, most of them are vulnerable and flawed. These interesting phenomena show that celebrities influence the elderly more than the young.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that celebrities influence the older generation more than the young. This is because the elderly like to trust the opinions of celebrities, and because they are not as well educated as younger people.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r than making decisions by themselves. Secondly, the younger generation are...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...uence the elderly more than the young. In conclusion, I strongly believe ...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, look, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, well, for example, in conclusion, in contrast, such as, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 9.8082437276 20% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 30.0 43.0788530466 70% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 52.1666666667 67% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1721.0 1977.66487455 87% => OK
No of words: 310.0 407.700716846 76% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.55161290323 4.8611393121 114% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.19604776685 4.48103885553 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.14046630551 2.67179642975 118% => OK
Unique words: 166.0 212.727598566 78% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.535483870968 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 545.4 618.680645161 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.51630824373 119% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.1344086022 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 20.4501510431 48.9658058833 42% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 78.2272727273 100.406767564 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.0909090909 20.6045352989 68% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.45454545455 5.45110844103 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 4.53405017921 66% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.213591307114 0.236089414692 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0611695575714 0.076458572812 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0411037932295 0.0737576698707 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.160230477234 0.150856017488 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0205883912745 0.0645574589148 32% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 11.7677419355 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.34 58.1214874552 69% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.32 10.9000537634 131% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.66 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 86.8835125448 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.0537634409 76% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Minimum four paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.