Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment—doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Personal enjoyment and taking their own time is something that most people tend to do in today's world. People step aside from their duties to do the stuff they like to do. However, this phenomenon didn't exist in the past and people could not easily avoid their responsibilities and go on vacations. I believe that contemporary human beings spend a lot of time on personal joy and this is caused mainly out of two reasons.
First of all, as technology began to develop in time, tough tasks requiring a lot of time and effort became easier and today a lot of tasks can be done faster than before. Technology most of all permitted mankind to possess more free time available, which allowed them to have more leisure and fun. For instance, my father is an architect and twenty years ago, he had to work hours designing buildings in a sophisticated way by sketching all the components by his hand. Nowadays he can easily turn on his personal computer and start creating much more efficient and reliable sketches. Hence he is able to assign more time than before to his family and things he wants to do and enjoy. Although he still does not neglect the things he should do, he is capable of spending most of his time on his favorite activities.
Second, social media is currently influencing humanities more than ever. People are intensively seeking happy experiences through social media pages and a process of mental observations influences them in a drastic way. The more people spend time on social media, the more they perceive happiness in forms of relaxation and vacations. This process unintentionally deviates people from their most productivity, exhausting them in their mandatory jobs or performances. A consequence of social media is that people become reluctant to their works, feeling that they are under duress and it urges them to assign more time on personal stuff rather than doing what they should do. For example, I had to study for my master's entrance exam last year, and seeing my friends on social media enjoying their own times on vacation or my neighbors having fun at a ceremony, forced me to think over a vacation. I did so and took a few days off from my former plans and went to a trip with my family, in order to ease the pain of not having fun enough.
To conclude, I think that people use more of their time for personal enjoyment and that is not terrifying. Gaining energy from enjoyable activities enforces us to behave well in our work environment or coercive tasks. Consequently, motivated relaxed people can perform better in their daily activities. At last, it is obvious that no one should avoid doing things they should do, it's just a matter of priority and balance between these two different sides.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 198, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...ey like to do. However, this phenomenon didnt exist in the past and people could not ...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 402, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a sophisticated way" with adverb for "sophisticated"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...e had to work hours designing buildings in a sophisticated way by sketching all the components by his ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 585, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...h more efficient and reliable sketches. Hence he is able to assign more time than bef...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 202, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a drastic way" with adverb for "drastic"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... of mental observations influences them in a drastic way. The more people spend time on social m...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, hence, however, if, second, so, still, well, for example, for instance, i think, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 13.8261648746 166% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 57.0 43.0788530466 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 68.0 52.1666666667 130% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2263.0 1977.66487455 114% => OK
No of words: 475.0 407.700716846 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.76421052632 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.66845742379 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64483063463 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 255.0 212.727598566 120% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.536842105263 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 709.2 618.680645161 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 38.3168553759 48.9658058833 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.761904762 100.406767564 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.619047619 20.6045352989 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.42857142857 5.45110844103 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.308935979802 0.236089414692 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0992675456386 0.076458572812 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.111363706327 0.0737576698707 151% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.211570507085 0.150856017488 140% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.056554091655 0.0645574589148 88% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 11.7677419355 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.62 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.52 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 114.0 86.8835125448 131% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.