# Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment—doing things they like to do—rather than doing things they should do.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
The discussion about whether or not the way of spending time by people is a very controversial discussion. There are people on both sides of the policy, who have very strong feelings. Some people feel that now people doing the thing, which is, really should do by them. But most believe that people lose their valuable time by doing personal enjoyment. However, If I were forced to chose, I would raise my voice for those people now spending their time by their own way doing unnecessary tasks. It is my firm belief that people now enjoy free time by themselves due to several reasons. I will develop these ideas in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin with, one of the reasons for my specific thought is that people due to technology enjoy their free time by their own way. They spend more time with different technology rather than talking with their friends and family members. I have to admit my opinion on this matter has been profoundly influenced by my personal experiences. You see Of course, there have been both positive and negative effects since the invention of the Smartphone, but in regards to face-to-face interaction, it has done a lot of harm. For example, my friends and I used to go out to bars a lot. Sometimes, there would be a lull in the conversation, but for the most part, we talked and had a good time. Some people were quieter than others but it was no big deal, we were all together. Now there was a constant need to be entertained. Whenever we are out and run out of things to talk about, everyone retreats to their phone. Now, some of my friends just look at their phones the whole time while we were out. In the end, I think the Smartphone has done more harm than good because it has altered people’s perception of what is worthy of attention and hurt the quality of communication between loved ones. As a result, people spend their time in a terrible way. For this reason, we can say that people spend their time not in an affected way nowadays.
Secondly, why I illustrate my specific concept is that people want to spend their time in their own way to find personal freedom now. They use time as they can enjoy their personal freedom. But personal freedom is not always given good things, and rather most of the time give bitter experience. My personal experience is a compelling illustration of this. I remember when I was in junior high school and I wanted to join the football team. I was small and had never played much football before, but I wanted to try. My father didn’t think I would like football very much, but he said that if I wanted to do it, I could. After three months of football practice and riding the bench I ended up hating football. All the kids picked on me because of my size and I was not very good at tackling or catching. Even though I hated everything about the football team, I was and still am grateful for the experience. If my father hadn’t let me try, I would have blamed him for the way things turned out. It was important for me to make the decision myself so I could take responsibility for my own choices and learn not to blame others. Moreover, this freedom gives people loneliness. It certainly clear to see why people spend their own time in their own way.
In light of the above-mentioned reasons I strongly believe that people now spend their time on personal enjoyment. This is because of the invention of modern technology and for finding personal freedom.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 22, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
The discussion about whether or not the way of spending time by people is a...
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Line 1, column 106, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...eople is a very controversial discussion There are people on both sides of the po...
^^
Line 1, column 265, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... thing which is really should do by them But most believe that people lose their ...
^^
Line 1, column 348, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...aluable time by doing personal enjoyment However If I were forced to chose I woul...
^^
Line 1, column 488, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...by their own way doing unnecessary tasks It is my firm belief that people now enj...
^^
Line 1, column 579, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ime by themselves due to several reasons I will develop these ideas in the subseq...
^^
Line 4, column 234, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ng with their friends and family members I have to admit my opinion on this matte...
^^
Line 4, column 447, Rule ID: IN_REGARD_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'regarding' or 'with regard to'.
Suggestion: regarding; with regard to
...nce the invention of the Smartphone but in regards to facetoface interaction it has done a lo...
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Line 4, column 817, Rule ID: CONFUSION_OF_OUR_OUT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'our'?
Suggestion: our
... need to be entertained Whenever we are out and run out of things to talk about eve...
^^^
Line 4, column 1201, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a terrible way" with adverb for "terrible"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...nes As a result people spend their time in a terrible way For this reason we can say that people ...
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Line 4, column 1279, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an affected way" with adverb for "affected"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...an say that people spend their time not in an affected way nowadays Secondly why I illustrate m...
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Line 6, column 291, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... most of the time give bitter experience My personal experience is a compelling i...
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Line 6, column 520, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...ll before but I wanted to try My father didnt think I would like football very much b...
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Line 6, column 609, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e said that if I wanted to do it I could After three months of football practice ...
^^
Line 6, column 907, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: hadn't
...rateful for the experience If my father hadnt let me try I would have blamed him for ...
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Line 6, column 1109, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...wn choices and learn not to blame others Moreover this freedom gives people lonel...
^^
Line 6, column 1156, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ver this freedom gives people loneliness It certainly clear to see why people spe...
^^
Line 6, column 1171, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'clears'?
Suggestion: clears
...m gives people loneliness It certainly clear to see why people spend their own time ...
^^^^^
Line 8, column 113, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...w spend their time on personal enjoyment This is because of the invention of mode...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, look, moreover, really, second, secondly, so, still, while, for example, i think, of course, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 15.1003584229 172% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 13.8261648746 166% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 90.0 43.0788530466 209% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 77.0 52.1666666667 148% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2760.0 1977.66487455 140% => OK
No of words: 622.0 407.700716846 153% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.43729903537 4.8611393121 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.99398916966 4.48103885553 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42782521054 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 263.0 212.727598566 124% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.422829581994 0.524837075471 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 871.2 618.680645161 141% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 9.59856630824 0% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 1.0 20.6003584229 5% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 622.0 20.1344086022 3089% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 0.0 48.9658058833 0% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 2760.0 100.406767564 2749% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 622.0 20.6045352989 3019% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 137.0 5.45110844103 2513% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 19.0 5.5376344086 343% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 11.8709677419 8% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.238793770118 0.236089414692 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.238793770118 0.076458572812 312% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0737576698707 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.16688410809 0.150856017488 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0688229958177 0.0645574589148 107% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 310.5 11.7677419355 2639% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -542.93 58.1214874552 -934% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 0.0 6.10430107527 0% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 243.5 10.1575268817 2397% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 9.95 10.9000537634 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 36.67 8.01818996416 457% => Dale chall readability score is high.
difficult_words: 86.0 86.8835125448 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 53.0 10.002688172 530% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 250.8 10.0537634409 2495% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 251.0 10.247311828 2449% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.