do you agree or disagree with the following statement? television advertisement directed toward young children should not be allowed. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
No one can deny that there are both positive and negative aspects of television advertisements. As the world becomes increasingly civilized , there is a competition between people whoo want to be succesful in their career,and one of these competitors are businessmen. one of the way to sell products is advertise them. it is my firm belief that advertisement should not be allowed especially which is directed toward youth for a number of reasons and I will develop these ideas in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin with, advertising products affects children psychologically. As we all know, usually adverts are really colorful and catch audience's attention, particularly young children's. if advertisement attract child, obviously ,it means that he/she will ask for parents to buy it. I have t o adit that my opinion on this matter has been profoundly influence by y on personal experience. about two month ago, my uncle called me to look after his daughter. At lunch, while we were watching television , there was advertisement about electronic doll , which costs not cheap. daughter of my uncle asked him to buy it, however it was impossible since it costs 400$. As a result, they argued , and uncle felt himself inconvenient. if my niece had never seen this advertisement, they would have never had this resentment.
Another equally vital reason that should be highlighted here is that product affects negatively to health of child. Nobody could overlook this fact that retailer advertises products that he could not sell. Hence, parents have to pay attention to their children's health. Drawing from my own personal experience, I can strongly say that chinese sweets affects negatively. You see, my brother were playing outdoors and run to home with red points on his face, when we сhecked out , we understood that it was because of cheap sweets that were in advertisement. Most of the time, products advertised in televisions are low qualified.
In light of all aforementioned reasons it is explicitly obvious that advertisements which directed toward young people should be banned by the government , since it influence child's health and psycology.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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...the world becomes increasingly civilized , there is a competition between people w...
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...hoo want to be succesful in their career,and one of these competitors are businessme...
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...e of these competitors are businessmen. one of the way to sell products is adverti...
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Suggestion:
...hese competitors are businessmen. one of the way to sell products is advertise th...
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Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'advertised'.
Suggestion: advertised
...en. one of the way to sell products is advertise them. it is my firm belief that adverti...
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...way to sell products is advertise them. it is my firm belief that advertisement sh...
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.... To begin with, advertising products affects children psychologically. As we...
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...ts affects children psychologically. As we all know, usually adverts are really ...
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...ttention, particularly young childrens. if advertisement attract child, obviously ...
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...f advertisement attract child, obviously ,it means that he/she will ask for paren...
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...t child, obviously ,it means that he/she will ask for parents to buy it. I have t...
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... influence by y on personal experience. about two month ago, my uncle called me to lo...
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... by y on personal experience. about two month ago, my uncle called me to look after h...
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...lunch, while we were watching television , there was advertisement about electroni...
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... was advertisement about electronic doll , which costs not cheap. daughter of my ...
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...ertisement about electronic doll , which costs not cheap. daughter of my uncle as...
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...ectronic doll , which costs not cheap. daughter of my uncle asked him to buy it, howeve...
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...owever it was impossible since it costs 400$. As a result, they argued , and uncle f...
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... it costs 400$. As a result, they argued , and uncle felt himself inconvenient. if...
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... , and uncle felt himself inconvenient. if my niece had never seen this advertisem...
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... points on his face, when we сhecked out , we understood that it was because of ch...
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...eople should be banned by the government , since it influence childs health and ps...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
hence, however, if, look, really, so, while, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 43.0788530466 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 42.0 52.1666666667 81% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1814.0 1977.66487455 92% => OK
No of words: 347.0 407.700716846 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.22766570605 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31600926901 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.06174505086 2.67179642975 115% => OK
Unique words: 218.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.628242074928 0.524837075471 120% => OK
syllable_count: 552.6 618.680645161 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 44.2085964491 48.9658058833 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.7 100.406767564 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.35 20.6045352989 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.55 5.45110844103 65% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 22.0 5.5376344086 397% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.173400271752 0.236089414692 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0502346530431 0.076458572812 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0552602326615 0.0737576698707 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.123359512474 0.150856017488 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0466184743311 0.0645574589148 72% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 11.7677419355 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 58.1214874552 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.76 10.9000537634 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.3 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 86.8835125448 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.