Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? When people succeed, it is entirely because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with their success. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
It is true that luck is a component of peoples’ achievement. Nevertheless, without hard work, people barely achieve whatever they want. In my opinion, working hard is not only a prerequisite of success but also the main reason for it. I will present two elaborated reasons for my assertion in the following essay.
First of all, people cannot achieve something without hard work to get it. Some aspects of success can be given to some people without much effort. However, they also need to work hard to maintain their successful statement. For example, there was one of my friends who have innate superior physical abilities. Most physical tests during our school years were not demanding for him at all. With his superb abilities, he tried to go to KNSU, Korean National Sports University. However, students who applied to that school mostly had a similar level with him in a physical test. Unfortunately, he failed to go to that university due to his halfhearted attitude when he was nineteen. Therefore, in the 2nd chance of the next year, he practiced every day to pass the test of the university. As a result, now he works at the university as a teaching assistant and is willing to go to graduate school this year.
Second, there are some aspects of life which cannot be achieved with peoples’ effort. Some factors such as social connections and unexpected happening may affect the succession of people. However, there are some people who try extremely hard so that they succeed to control their own luck. Luck is a combination of diverse situations which means that people can affect their luckiness by managing every aspect of life. It is not easy to achieve, but there are some people who succeeded. For example, major league baseball player Otani Shohei wrote about his lifestyle and made a table to manage it since he was a student. In that table, he divined his life into nine sections which are easy to oversee. One of those tables is about his luck. He split that part once again into nine pieces and wrote down actions he had to do to control his luck such as wiping equipment after every practice and be polite to every people. It is unclear that those tables affect his luck or not. However, it seems that people can get succession by trying hard enough to control their own luck.
In conclusion, people can get succession by working hard even they are gifted with innate abilities. Luck is the only factor that can be manipulated by peoples’ discipline effort. Therefore, when people succeed, hard work is the most important factor among others.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, nevertheless, second, so, therefore, for example, in conclusion, such as, as a result, first of all, in my opinion, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 15.1003584229 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 19.0 11.0286738351 172% => OK
Pronoun: 51.0 43.0788530466 118% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 52.1666666667 117% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2132.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 443.0 407.700716846 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.81264108352 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58776254615 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56575247709 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 212.727598566 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.494356659142 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 674.1 618.680645161 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 20.6003584229 136% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 26.6445566291 48.9658058833 54% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 76.1428571429 100.406767564 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.8214285714 20.6045352989 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.78571428571 5.45110844103 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 22.0 11.8709677419 185% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.234840707378 0.236089414692 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0689443663068 0.076458572812 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0552167279557 0.0737576698707 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.165148757613 0.150856017488 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0394482596676 0.0645574589148 61% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.1 11.7677419355 77% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.71 58.1214874552 111% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 10.1575268817 79% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.32 10.9000537634 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.62 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 86.8835125448 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 10.002688172 55% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.