Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? While parents have the responsibility to educate young people about healthy eating habits, schools should also be responsible for this.
It goes without saying that in this highly sophisticated world where we live, schools play a crucial role in educating the young generation. In addition to the educational role, schools play an important role in the healthy eating habits of young people. Although some people believe that parents have the responsibility to education about healthy eating habits, I personally believe that schools have a central role, and the reasons to substantiate my viewpoint are elaborated upon hereunder.
First of all, schools are a fully scientific environment and teachers have a variety of specialties including health and nutrition. As well all know, today the majority of schools have health course, because young people spend a lot of time at school, they can learn healthy eating habits. Therefore, a healthy diet can lead to improving the student’s performance and increasing the quality of schools. For example, several years ago, when I was a high school student, because of an unhealthy diet, I was very fat, and unfortunately, my parents were obese too, and they could not guide me properly. In this situation, the pursuits of my health teacher and head of the high school helped me change my diet, even I was able to help my family. Therefore, my personal experience completely corroborates the fact health teacher in the school plays an important role in a healthy diet.
Second, in third world countries, the majority of parents are Illiterate individuals, and they have a traditional opinion; As a result, cannot play an important role in children's education. Furthermore, according to statistics in developing countries, there is a direct relation between uneducated persons and unhealthy diet of their children because the less their education, the worst they information their children. So parent's incorrect information leads to malnutrition or obesity problems of their kids. My own experience demonstrates convincing evidence of this. In my country, the majority of families have a traditional view. For example, there is an opinion that everyone who is obese is healthier. This is a dangerous tradition which causes increase different types of diseases in youths. I remember when I was a teenager I was a skinny individual, and my family based on traditional view helped me that this incorrect information caused me gained weight. Therefore, parents are not a proper guide and the primary responsibility are on the schools.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that cardinal responsibility for education healthy eating habits is on schools. Because schools have expertise teachers that can help the young generation, and because parents do not have enough knowledge.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 860, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...as a teenager I was a skinny individual, and my family based on traditional view ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, furthermore, if, second, so, therefore, third, well, for example, in addition, in conclusion, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 43.0 43.0788530466 100% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 52.1666666667 81% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 8.0752688172 248% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2262.0 1977.66487455 114% => OK
No of words: 425.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.32235294118 4.8611393121 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54043259262 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.04470406401 2.67179642975 114% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.496470588235 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 706.5 618.680645161 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.86738351254 321% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.7584163735 48.9658058833 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.1 100.406767564 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.25 20.6045352989 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.3 5.45110844103 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.25732725366 0.236089414692 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0845420154289 0.076458572812 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.074369646985 0.0737576698707 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.195935522195 0.150856017488 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0862501465729 0.0645574589148 134% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 11.7677419355 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 58.1214874552 72% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 10.1575268817 125% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.58 10.9000537634 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.5 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 86.8835125448 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.