Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Children rely too much on technology, like computers, smart phones, video games for fun and entertainment. Playing simpler toys or outside with friends would be better for children's development
Since the industrial revolution in Europe, the term of "technology" has been repeated a lot in discussions and university lectures and etcetera. Nowadays technology has found its way in our lives It has been a long debate between experts of sociology, psychology, neurology and other sciences to measure the extend of technology's impact and evaluate it. Obviously it plays a great role in our social behaviors, economic conditions and of course our entertainment. While there are some people that defend the presence of technology in every aspect of our lives, including children, I strongly contend that children can't develop just by using technology. I will vindicate my standpoint in the following article.
First, with regard to the fact that children are going to enter the society in the future, they need to practice their social skills in the childhood period. I believe that playing outside with friends is a practice to develop such skills. The kids can learn team work; compromising; adapting; and to care for others by playing with friends. And these characteristics are crucial for a healthy social life. On the other hand, playing video games can stimulate a tendency to loneliness that can result in clinical depression or antisocial behaviors.
Second, playing with friends and simpler toys is healthier considering psychological and physical aspects. Children have to sit in front of a screen for several hours in order to play video games. Over using video games and computers can harm the eyes of the children and weaken their physical condition because of long seats. On the other hand playing outside is a kind of exercise and can prevent children from growing lazy.
To summarize, I believe that playing with friends and with simpler toys will be beneficial to children's development. It is essential to learn the social skills that are necessary in a civilized society in the childhood period and playing with friends can teach that to them, Video games can be harmful and if not controlled can have catastrophic outcomes. Parental control can be a way to insure the prevention of that kind of harms and well developing of children.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 315, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...neurology and other sciences to measure the extend of technologys impact and evaluate it. ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 625, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...ldren, I strongly contend that children cant develop just by using technology. I wil...
^^^^
Line 2, column 260, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to team'
Suggestion: to team
...develop such skills. The kids can learn team work; compromising; adapting; and to ca...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, if, second, so, well, while, kind of, of course, with regard to, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 43.0788530466 65% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 52.1666666667 109% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1816.0 1977.66487455 92% => OK
No of words: 354.0 407.700716846 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.12994350282 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.33761313653 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9448417528 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 212.727598566 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.536723163842 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 552.6 618.680645161 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.3008163299 48.9658058833 99% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.823529412 100.406767564 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8235294118 20.6045352989 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.23529411765 5.45110844103 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.315771566315 0.236089414692 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.106582678905 0.076458572812 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0703427309907 0.0737576698707 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.198403643574 0.150856017488 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0621005743356 0.0645574589148 96% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 11.7677419355 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 58.1214874552 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.47 10.9000537634 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.96 8.01818996416 112% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 86.8835125448 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 10.002688172 155% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.