Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

As celebrities, famous entertainers and athletes are disturbed by the general public considerably nowadays, due to the development of technologies, especially the Internet. When it comes to whether these celebrities deserve to have more privacy than they have now, people hold different opinions. Some people believe the their privacy is a method for them to provide entertainment for the public and their duties contain making people happy and relax. However, contrary to their viewpoints is my perspective that every one deserves to have more privacy, no matter whether he or she is a celebrity or not. I feel this way for two main reasons, which are elaborated below.

Among all the reasons why I believe they deserves more privacy than they have now, the most important one is that they deserve a life only belonging to themselves. There is well-acknowledged that celebrities, especially those with high reputation, are heavily exposed to the media, contributing to nearly everyone knows about their activities, which include their personal and private life. However, the overwhelming attention they receive from the audience exerts largely negative impact on them, both physically and mentally. For example, a famous actress named Yang was recently abused by the public because of smoking. With the thought that the celebrities should set good examples for teenagers, the public expressed their blame in the Internet and even uploaded some awful pictures under Yang's Weibo, which hurt Yang deeply.

In addition, another reason for more privacy deserved revolves around the fact that they are undergoing diverse levels of stress caused by the attention and curiosity about their privacy. As mentioned above, people expect the celebrities to set good examples for teenagers. However, no one is perfect without making mistakes. When people pay much attention on the celebrities, they must find something negative from the celebrities. In order to maintain their figures and presence, the celebrities may figure out every method to attract the audience, which put much pressure on them. Take Liu, a famous running athlete in China, as an example. Once Liu was considered as a hero owing to his outstanding performance in the Olympics Games. However, when he was found that he attempted to distract himself from some responsibility, which was his privacy, he lost his popularity. As a result, he felt frustrated and unhappy since then.

In conclusion, famous entertainers and athletes should have their own lives and undergo less pressure, so they deserve to have more privacy than they have today.

Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 71, Rule ID: GENERAL_XX[1]
Message: Use simply 'public'.
Suggestion: public
...iners and athletes are disturbed by the general public considerably nowadays, due to the devel...
Line 1, column 318, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'their'?
Suggestion: the; their
...different opinions. Some people believe the their privacy is a method for them to provide...
Line 3, column 42, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'deserve'
Suggestion: deserve
...mong all the reasons why I believe they deserves more privacy than they have now, the mo...

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, may, so, then, well, for example, i feel, in addition, in conclusion, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 43.0788530466 104% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 52.1666666667 86% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2198.0 1977.66487455 111% => OK
No of words: 412.0 407.700716846 101% => OK
Chars per words: 5.33495145631 4.8611393121 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50530610838 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83557480845 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 212.727598566 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.553398058252 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 701.1 618.680645161 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.0855268516 48.9658058833 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.9 100.406767564 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.6 20.6045352989 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.95 5.45110844103 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 3.85842293907 259% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.255975163599 0.236089414692 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0766115711908 0.076458572812 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.106654024067 0.0737576698707 145% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.207135656781 0.150856017488 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.105789845675 0.0645574589148 164% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 11.7677419355 119% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 58.1214874552 74% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.63 10.9000537634 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.73 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 86.8835125448 123% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?

Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.