As we know, athletes and entertainers always have powerful impact on people’s life and people follow their super stars curiously. In this regard, stars may suffer from this matter and do not feel any privacy in their lives. Some socialists believe that athletes and entertainers must have more private lives. However, others look through different lens. From my perspective, this stratum of society have enough privacy. I will elaborate my opinion through two strong reasons.
The first reason is that superstars knew this matter and they chose to be a famous one. They knew that being famous will bring some consequences such as this matter that they may feel less privacy. It is a normal thing that people valorize famous ones and also enjoy from knowing what famous people do and behave. On the other hand, famous people enjoy from being popular and at center of attention. So, there is no reason to argue or complaint about their situations. Famous people have their own privacy like anybody else has, they have their own house, their own traveling and everything that ordinary people have without any disturbance. As I said in this paragraph, famous people have no need of more privacy.
The second reason I intend to mention is that ordinary people are affected by famous people. Famous people can have awesome effects on other people. So, if they have more privacy and accomplish their work in hidden, people would not be affected in right way. Not only a big gap would be created between them but also conflicts will occur in society. For example, in vital situation, such as election famous people can pick the most qualified candidate and then convince people to choose the best candidate since people better understand and pursue their favorite superstar. By this way, conflicts would diminish in society. In the end, if famous people work in hidden or more privacy, unfavorable consequences will occur.
In conclusion, as I mentioned above I believe athletes and entertainers have enough privacy in order to live as normal as anybody else in every societies. In other words, having more privacy will not only be excessive but also bring some detrimental consequences for society. So, it is not a beneficial idea to consider more privacy for athletes and entertainers.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 99, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... impact on people's life and people follow their super stars curiously. In t...
^^^
Line 7, column 156, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...mal as anybody else in every societies. In other words, having more privacy will ...
^^
Line 7, column 191, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ies. In other words, having more privacy will not only be excessive but also brin...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, look, may, second, so, then, for example, in conclusion, such as, in other words, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 38.0 43.0788530466 88% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 52.1666666667 79% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1948.0 1977.66487455 99% => OK
No of words: 380.0 407.700716846 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.12631578947 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41515443553 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54847192279 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 212.727598566 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.481578947368 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 606.6 618.680645161 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.2580518578 48.9658058833 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.6956521739 100.406767564 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.5217391304 20.6045352989 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.65217391304 5.45110844103 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.22913289627 0.236089414692 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.078377790489 0.076458572812 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0543833353854 0.0737576698707 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.162141763819 0.150856017488 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0328700224198 0.0645574589148 51% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 58.1214874552 95% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 10.9000537634 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.26 8.01818996416 91% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 86.8835125448 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 10.002688172 55% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 63.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 19.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.