Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?It is better for people to move out of their hometowns when they become adults, instead of staying in their home communities for their whole lives.

In my opinion, I agree with the statement saying that living alone when you become old enough is better than stick with family and same community you grew up. Generally, if you had to choose to move out or stay at home for work, staying with family and close friends sounds easier to make yourself comfortable. In contrast, we need to be a independent person in a society at some point in our life. The following reasons are supporting my opinion.

The first reason is about self-indulgent. In Japan, there have been many issues related to adults can not take care of theirself because they do not need to do it. For example, my brother is ten years older than me but he stays with us at home. He complains how hard his job and how small time he has in a day after work. According to his explaination, he makes excuse that he does not need to do cook or laundry because he obviously does not have time. Even, he makes money by working to live himself but he is afraid of getting involved into new environment. I think that is wrong. He is adult and old enough to considerate on himself thus staying in home with family is making his laziness bigger and bigger also shortened his sights too.

The second reason is about braveness give you a new perspective and expectation. I had left for the US for an internship after graduated at college. It was first time to move out of hometown even my country but it brought me to the new world and expand my thought. At first, I have been suffering for getting used to live abroad and being local however I met local American people and co-workers that telling me how brave I was. I did not refer me as a brave person however according to people I worked with gave me so many opportunities to try new things which I could not do that in home. For example, I was scared to give a speech in front of many people but through the internship, I got a chance to talk about my idea, design, and research methods. Therefore, I overcame my weakness and become strong mentally because I have had experience to show my braveness. I would support that once you leave home, you realize what kind of person you are and who you would like to become. It helps you to think about yourself more.

All of considered, I would say that moving out of home when you become old enough is needed to everyone. People should explore their life and focus on their will.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 339, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...comfortable. In contrast, we need to be a independent person in a society at some...
^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, second, so, therefore, thus, for example, i think, in contrast, kind of, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 73.0 43.0788530466 169% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 61.0 52.1666666667 117% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1947.0 1977.66487455 98% => OK
No of words: 444.0 407.700716846 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.38513513514 4.8611393121 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5903493882 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.45502830703 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 232.0 212.727598566 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.522522522523 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 622.8 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 19.0 9.59856630824 198% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.1255256673 48.9658058833 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.652173913 100.406767564 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.3043478261 20.6045352989 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.08695652174 5.45110844103 93% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.277836046269 0.236089414692 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0711067644297 0.076458572812 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0684645770002 0.0737576698707 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.190998444081 0.150856017488 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0831764001486 0.0645574589148 129% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.9 11.7677419355 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.18 10.9000537634 75% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.07 8.01818996416 88% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 86.8835125448 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.