future job: study hard or make great connection independent

Essay topics:

future job: study hard or make great connection independent

Success in future job is indispensable aspect of human'life which has influenced every corner and every minute of our life. Controversy exist over ability to make connection people is beneficial than studying intensievly in school to succeed in future job. Some may hold the opinion that stuyding hard is vital, while others advocate capability to relate well to people is significant . However, I would rather vote on the later point of view in that not only does it improve social skills, but also it enhances economic situation.

The first factor which is convincing enough to favor the later point of view is that by making a suitable relationship with others, people are able to make new friends hving different personalities and habits. In fact, people make splendid communucation through interpersonal interaction in company and organization. What is noticing is that a complex web of relationships with zillion other people all around the globe, find numerous professional and experts to work in specific company to succeed in job. Take a firm working in E- business in the Internet as an example. This comapany can find more people to watch its website, since Internet is main channel to share the idea about services presented by comapany. In long term, this relation make a large number of benefits for comapany such as: attracting more people to attend comapany and well-known name for company.

A further aspect which is worth to be mentioned here is that ability to make connection with people enhance the annual income of comapny, since these relationships attract more customers to company, which each of them can buy company’s products. Indeed, the more customers, the more economic boost in company situation. This will pave the company to present more and various products to customers, and so this reduces financial burdon on comapany. For example, a comapany which hire some individuals who are able to relate to people make a loyal customers which they pay more money for products produced by company. These connections increase the economic level of economy in market thanks to earned money by customers which were attracted to comapany by a well relationship.

All in all, taking into count all aforementioned factors, we safely arrive at a conclusion that people' ability to relate to others is much significat activities than studying hard in school to get a better position in future job, because it leads to get familiar with wide range of people and it rises the company' profits. It is high time we stopped overlooking that only task to do in order to succeed in future job is study.

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Average: 6 (2 votes)
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Success in future job is indispensable aspect
Success in future job is an indispensable aspect

is beneficial than studying intensievly
is more beneficial than studying intensievly

since Internet is main channel
since Internet is the main channel

is that ability to make connection with people enhance the annual income
is that the ability to make connection with people enhances the annual income

since these relationships attract more customers to company, which each of them can buy company’s products.
since these relationships attract more customers to company, and each of them can buy company’s products.

Sentence: In long term, this relation make a large number of benefits for comapany such as: attracting more people to attend comapany and well-known name for company.
Description: The fragment relation make a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace make with verb, past tense

Sentence: These connections increase the economic level of economy in market thanks to earned money by customers which were attracted to comapany by a well relationship.
Description: The word well is not usually used as an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to well

Sentence: Controversy exist over ability to make connection people is beneficial than studying intensievly in school to succeed in future job.
Error: intensievly Suggestion: intensively

Sentence: Some may hold the opinion that stuyding hard is vital, while others advocate capability to relate well to people is significant .
Error: stuyding Suggestion: studying

Sentence: The first factor which is convincing enough to favor the later point of view is that by making a suitable relationship with others, people are able to make new friends hving different personalities and habits.
Error: hving Suggestion: having

Sentence: In fact, people make splendid communucation through interpersonal interaction in company and organization.
Error: communucation Suggestion: communication

Sentence: This comapany can find more people to watch its website, since Internet is main channel to share the idea about services presented by comapany.
Error: comapany Suggestion: company

Sentence: In long term, this relation make a large number of benefits for comapany such as: attracting more people to attend comapany and well-known name for company.
Error: comapany Suggestion: company
Error: well-known Suggestion: well known

Sentence: A further aspect which is worth to be mentioned here is that ability to make connection with people enhance the annual income of comapny, since these relationships attract more customers to company, which each of them can buy company's products.
Error: comapny Suggestion: company

Sentence: This will pave the company to present more and various products to customers, and so this reduces financial burdon on comapany.
Error: comapany Suggestion: company
Error: burdon Suggestion: burden

Sentence: For example, a comapany which hire some individuals who are able to relate to people make a loyal customers which they pay more money for products produced by company.
Error: comapany Suggestion: company

Sentence: These connections increase the economic level of economy in market thanks to earned money by customers which were attracted to comapany by a well relationship.
Error: comapany Suggestion: company

Sentence: All in all, taking into count all aforementioned factors, we safely arrive at a conclusion that people' ability to relate to others is much significat activities than studying hard in school to get a better position in future job, because it leads to get familiar with wide range of people and it rises the company' profits.
Error: significat Suggestion: significant

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 14 2

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 14 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 434 350
No. of Characters: 2138 1500
No. of Different Words: 232 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.564 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.926 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.703 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 163 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.529 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.634 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.471 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.527 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.137 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5