If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying.

Essay topics:

If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying.

There is no doubt on the fact that getting a lucrative job as soon as possible would be worthwhile. It arouses much controversy among members of particular people with different perspective due to distinctive experience about waiting for an occupation that would be interested or not. In order to substantiate my vantage point, I would like to address some of the key points: paying more heed to time, which It is the most important tools for success, having an excessive amount of money would be valuable.

First, the most noticeable merit of the notion related to the time. As we all know that, time is a precious wealth in the community. As a matter of fact, when we can find a decent career with high salary we should accept urgently due to the fact that, we hoard my time. all of us know that waiting is a sheer of squandering time. Another subtle explanation for my view perceptive pertaining to the a variety of benefits, in fact, we can collect a tremendous amount of information during my task as well. A concrete example for this issue, when I was studying at a university abroad, one of my college classmates was considerably sensitive for their job after graduation owing to the fact that he wanted just employ a super company , which accepting on this factory was highly strict. As a consequence, she did not work for next month until she went to that firm. Most of the time, she was immensely , upset, since he lost a plethora of time. Eventually, this experience taught me that everybody should take any job at once. Needless to say, under this circumstance, we found out that getting a profit job even that we did not avid for it would been has some beneficial without hesitation.

Along the same line, another consideration privilege of the issue associated with money. money is the most crucial criteria in life nowadays. The main reason for my propensity, life is greatly limited for everyone no doubt. Thus we should pay more attention to the money not our interest. Money has a pivotal role in the society. It is highly ridiculous for waiting job with little income. One of the striking examples for this matter, my sister has a great deal of money, indeed she is a prosperous woman in business since she always grab every opportunity in life. She knows that money is the foremost imperative device in modern life. As I clearly see that positions are transient, therefore we should take every task right away without any doubt.

To put the issue into perspective by taking into account these entire aspects we can safely draw the conclusion that we should contemplate that someone should take a secure task forthwith. There are some benefits and drawbacks for everything. The criteria could not be determined. Opinions are personal. Consequently, as a final statement, I would like to point out that life is short we should work and gain more money for surviving.

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Average: 7 (2 votes)
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Comments

paying more heed to time, which It is the most important tools for success, having an excessive amount of money would be valuable.
Description: can you re-write this sentence? (Don't need to list reasons in the introduction paragraph.)

the most noticeable merit of the notion related to the time.
the most noticeable merit of the notion is related to the time.

getting a profit job even that we did not avid for it would been has some beneficial without hesitation.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

another consideration privilege of the issue associated with money.
another consideration privilege of the issue is associated with money.

since she always grab every opportunity in life.
since she always grabs every opportunity in life.

Sentence: Another subtle explanation for my view perceptive pertaining to the a variety of benefits, in fact, we can collect a tremendous amount of information during my task as well.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to the and a

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2

There are a lot of pattern sentences in the essays. This may have a bad credit in actual TOEFL exam.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 501 350
No. of Characters: 2325 1500
No. of Different Words: 263 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.731 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.641 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.617 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 108 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.04 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.431 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.28 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.269 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.429 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.174 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

Indeed, Many thanks.
What is your purpose from this sentence: There are a lot of pattern sentences in the essays.
Can you state a pattern sentences in my essay?
Should I remove it?
Thanks
Dorsa

Most of the sentences in the introduction and conclusion are pattern sentences. There are some in the essay body too. You'd better remove them when you are practicing. Those sentences are last solutions when you are stressed out in the TOEFL test room.

The reason is that a lot of other people are using them too. The e-rater can easily future them out.