If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

Essay topics:

If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

Could I change one important thing about my hometown, definitely I would choose the culture of people who are living in my hometown. Nowadays, people have serious problems related to culture, and it can have some adverse influences on the next generation of the town. There are two reasons why I feel this way, which I will explain in the following essay.
To begin with, the more pleasantly the people of a city behave, the better face their city will have. To put it in a different way, everybody admits that pleasant people are easier to be communicated with. Therefore, if we increase the level of culture among people, it will lead to a better communication of people. This change contributes to two great aftermaths. First, people would feel better in both daily association with each other and living in the city. Second, it will give the city a better face in public. Consequently, merchants and artisans of other cities would come to the city for their work and investment, and this is where the city improves in every aspects. As a case in point, one of my best friends, Bill, who is working in a prosperous construction company, said to me, “If I had chance visiting Iran, I would absolutely go to Isfahan due to the high level of its people’s culture.”
Secondly, this change would have impacts on the surrounding environment. A study on the factors on the environment pollution which was accomplished by the University of Western Ontario in July 16, 2006, shows that 34 percent of this pollution comes from lack of culture. In other words, if the level of culture in a society is high, people will prevent themselves from destroying their surrounding environment as far as possible. For instance, if we compare Tehran with its status 30 years ago, we can quickly reach to the point. If people who are living in Tehran had been in a high level of culture, they would not have easily polluted the air by excessive using of their cars.
In conclusion, I personally would choose to change the culture of my hometown, if it were possible for me. This is because of improving people’s manner and preventing the environment to be polluted.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Could I change one important thing about...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...I will explain in the following essay. To begin with, the more pleasantly the p...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 117, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a different way" with adverb for "different"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...er face their city will have. To put it in a different way, everybody admits that pleasant people ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...el of its people's culture.' Secondly, this change would have impacts...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 191, Rule ID: IN_JANUARY[1]
Message: Did you mean 'on July'? This seems to be a day date.
Suggestion: on July
...ed by the University of Western Ontario in July 16, 2006, shows that 34 percent of this...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... air by excessive using of their cars. In conclusion, I personally would choose...
^^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['but', 'consequently', 'first', 'if', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'therefore', 'for instance', 'i feel', 'in conclusion', 'in other words', 'to begin with']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.225806451613 0.229887763892 98% => OK
Verbs: 0.138248847926 0.158761421928 87% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0599078341014 0.0866891130778 69% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0345622119816 0.046263068375 75% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0668202764977 0.0685040099705 98% => OK
Prepositions: 0.135944700461 0.118717715034 115% => OK
Participles: 0.0345622119816 0.0351676179071 98% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.8187005479 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0299539170507 0.0309702414327 97% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00188951952338 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0944700460829 0.0887237588012 106% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0345622119816 0.0209618222197 165% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0161290322581 0.0139019557991 116% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2187.0 2387.08602151 92% => OK
No of words: 374.0 408.028673835 92% => OK
Chars per words: 5.84759358289 5.86048508987 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3976220399 4.48200974243 98% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.328877005348 0.338922669872 97% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.237967914439 0.251872472559 94% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.168449197861 0.174417080927 97% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.128342245989 0.112833075102 114% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8187005479 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 212.727598566 91% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.51871657754 0.524397521467 99% => OK
Word variations: 56.3790805771 59.2087087015 95% => OK
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6684587814 82% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.5533526081 107% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.8256911665 48.84282405 125% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.647058824 120.699889404 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0 20.5533526081 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.764705882353 0.644075263715 119% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.5376344086 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.54480286738 108% => OK
Readability: 45.7967914439 45.7405998639 100% => OK
Elegance: 1.65384615385 1.45489161554 114% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.125627626926 0.300154397459 42% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0880759344084 0.103427244359 85% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0518022827207 0.0752933317313 69% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.512005492614 0.497263757937 103% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.127549836358 0.151897553556 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0629538161721 0.114077575197 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0598662225662 0.0781384742642 77% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.417906721577 0.336927656856 124% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.029160909131 0.067059652881 43% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.112129246352 0.210909579961 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0408881002994 0.0618886996521 66% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8870967742 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.86379928315 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.91756272401 41% => OK
Positive topic words: 7.0 8.42114695341 83% => OK
Negative topic words: 2.0 2.4623655914 81% => OK
Neutral topic words: 2.0 2.75985663082 72% => OK
Total topic words: 11.0 13.6433691756 81% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

---------------------
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.