Imagine you could improve the town where you live by changing one important thing about it. Which of the following would you choose to do?
• Build additional parks
• Construct more libraries
• Improve public transportation
The choice I made to enhance the living in my town would be my personal and therefore, would not be liked by many of the citizens. However, if persuaded to make one choice I would go building more parks in the city. I feel this way for 2 reasons which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with, parks offer recreational space for the children. The main benefit it attach to itself is, it offers some time for the parents to relax. Consequently, this will result in inner peace among citizens. For instance, the city in which my uncle live have a number of parks for kids to play and often with them, there is also a caretaker who takes care of the kids and makes them play safely and happily. Due to existence space for enjoying, my uncle had made a routine to take their 5-year-old boy to the park and made him play for 1 or 2 hour. As a result, my uncle would complete his other work like shopping, cleaning home etc., which may not be possible if their boy was at home. therefore, parks is beneficial for the children as well as their parents
Secondly, parks can become the place of relaxing and making one forget the tensions of life by seeing the children play. A person who is depressed and have some difficulty in life can always visit the local park to relax. The sight of children's whimsical behaviour will definitely make him cheer up and forget his tensions of life and instead, enjoy the moment. my personal experience is a compelling example of this. When I was preparing for my GRE exam despite, my incessant efforts I was unable to increase my scores in verbal section. this made me consider myself as incompetent and to rethink about the exam. But one day, seeing my condition my mother advised me to take a hiatus from studying and instead go out. As a result, I went to the park and there the sight of children enjoying with ordinary things like stones, sticks made me forget my concern and also motivated to start from scratch again. if that day I had not visited the park, I may have given up by my consistent failures and could not be able to gather the courage to restart.
In conclusion, I believe constructing recreational spaces would be the best option to modify the city. this is because it provides playing area of children which will make their mood happy and because it can also be the relaxing area: place where one forgets his hardships, and enjoy the moment.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 154, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'making'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'persuade' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: making
... of the citizens. However, if persuaded to make one choice I would go building more par...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 85, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'attaches'?
Suggestion: attaches
...e for the children. The main benefit it attach to itself is, it offers some time for t...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 549, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'hour' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'hours'.
Suggestion: hours
...o the park and made him play for 1 or 2 hour. As a result, my uncle would complete h...
^^^^
Line 5, column 694, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Therefore
...t be possible if their boy was at home. therefore, parks is beneficial for the children a...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 363, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: My
... of life and instead, enjoy the moment. my personal experience is a compelling exa...
^^
Line 11, column 540, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...o increase my scores in verbal section. this made me consider myself as incompetent ...
^^^^
Line 11, column 908, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
... motivated to start from scratch again. if that day I had not visited the park, I ...
^^
Line 15, column 104, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
... be the best option to modify the city. this is because it provides playing area of ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, as a result, as well as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1986.0 1977.66487455 100% => OK
No of words: 440.0 407.700716846 108% => OK
Chars per words: 4.51363636364 4.8611393121 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57997565096 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42490095222 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 220.0 212.727598566 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5 0.524837075471 95% => OK
syllable_count: 625.5 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.2141753145 48.9658058833 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.3 100.406767564 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0 20.6045352989 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.85 5.45110844103 144% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.100333776952 0.236089414692 42% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0356011304063 0.076458572812 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0337041487945 0.0737576698707 46% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0795775765397 0.150856017488 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0431777953445 0.0645574589148 67% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 11.7677419355 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 66.07 58.1214874552 114% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.88 10.9000537634 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.96 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 86.8835125448 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.