Independent essay
If you could meet a famous entertainer or athlete, who would that be, and why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In the modern 21st century there are so many celebrities who influence our society that it is not a simple task to choose one of them. Personally, I believe that it should be an individual who has shown successful track and who can provide valuable advice to me. This is why I would opt for Arnold Schwarzenegger. In the following essay I will delve deeper into this choice.
To begin with, I am not a professional athlete per se, but I spend going gym approximately twenty hours a week. Thus, it is interesting for me to discuss with Mr. Shwarceneger his sports career. Moreover, I feel that he could support me in my dream to become the first Russian to win the Mr. Olimpia competition. And this is not only because he did it seven times, but also because, I hope, he will understand my passion for this sport and this achievement.
Secondly, besides his magnificent play in the Terminator movie, I am impressed with his political career. He proved that athletes could be considered as leaders for the nation. In other words, almost all people have realized that sportsmen can not only flex muscles but also use their brains efficiently to make the lives of people better. For instance, as a governor of California, he implemented strict rules for oil and gas companies that help reducing solutions. On top of that, he supported the green technology that prevents the global warming process. For me, Mr. Arnolad Shwarcenege definitely represents the person who cares about the future of the planet.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that Mr. Arnolad Shwarcenege would be the best choice for me. This is because we share the same hobbies and his advice would inspire me to do a pivot in my career path.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 459, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...on for this sport and this achievement. Secondly, besides his magnificent play i...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 448, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[5]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to reduce' or 'reduce'.
Suggestion: to reduce; reduce
...les for oil and gas companies that help reducing solutions. On top of that, he supported...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 667, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...o cares about the future of the planet. In conclusion, I strongly believe that M...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, thus, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, in other words, to begin with, on top of that
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 51.0 43.0788530466 118% => OK
Preposition: 26.0 52.1666666667 50% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1420.0 1977.66487455 72% => OK
No of words: 298.0 407.700716846 73% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.76510067114 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.15483772266 4.48103885553 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7764476894 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 212.727598566 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.614093959732 0.524837075471 117% => OK
syllable_count: 441.0 618.680645161 71% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 29.385104645 48.9658058833 60% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.75 100.406767564 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.625 20.6045352989 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.4375 5.45110844103 173% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.120627199669 0.236089414692 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0430029278812 0.076458572812 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0377165462707 0.0737576698707 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0769952921108 0.150856017488 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0313632329554 0.0645574589148 49% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 11.7677419355 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.39 10.9000537634 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.29 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 86.8835125448 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.