In order to become financially responsible adults children should learn to manage their own money at a young age | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at a young age.

As far as I am concerned, It is necessary for children to learn the value of money at a young age to become responsible adults because not only do they learn how to save and spend money but also, they become more successful in the future. In the following paragraphs, I will pinpoint my case.

The first reason worth mentioning is that children learn how to collect their money and use it for a purchase. Nowadays, the income of parents has been decreased in comparison to recent years and they have to work really hard to improve their income. Because of that, parents do not have a lot of money to supply the needs of children. Giving a amount of money to kids, parents ask them to do some chores such as cleaning rooms or putting the garbage out. In this way, children understand it is not easy to earn money and learn the value of money. Therefore, children do not waste their money on everything and they learn to save money to buy expensive devices or toys. For instance, my little brother spend most of his money on junk foods and after that, my parents gave him chores to learn the importance of money. Since chores were difficult for him at first, he learned to not spend his earned money on junk food.

A furthur more subtle point is that children can progress more rapidly as adults. Children at young ages can learn many things with ease in comparison to adults. These lessons will stick with them for a long time and they can use it in the upcoming years. When a child grows up and goes to university, he will live in a dormitory and be responsible for all his actions. If he did not learn how to manage money in the past, he will face a lot of challenges in the university. It is possible he spends all of his money before the end of a month and after that, he will comprehend the value of money and try to save a small amount of it for emergency times. However, if he learned how to manage his money as a kid, he would not face financial problems like this.

To make a long story short, based on the aforementioned arguments, due to learning how to save or spend money and become more successful as adults, it is beneficial for children should learn to manage their own money at a young age.

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Independent TOEFL Writing

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Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 344, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...to supply the needs of children. Giving a amount of money to kids, parents ask th...
^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, really, so, therefore, for instance, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 46.0 43.0788530466 107% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 52.1666666667 125% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1802.0 1977.66487455 91% => OK
No of words: 414.0 407.700716846 102% => OK
Chars per words: 4.35265700483 4.8611393121 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51076378781 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.3868743429 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 212.727598566 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.451690821256 0.524837075471 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 569.7 618.680645161 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.6303771345 48.9658058833 99% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.111111111 100.406767564 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0 20.6045352989 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.16666666667 5.45110844103 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.387416432114 0.236089414692 164% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.12691479188 0.076458572812 166% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.114192078106 0.0737576698707 155% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.286196439952 0.150856017488 190% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0959883411847 0.0645574589148 149% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 11.7677419355 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 58.1214874552 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.25 10.9000537634 76% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.99 8.01818996416 87% => OK
difficult_words: 58.0 86.8835125448 67% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.