Parents give their children weekly money to buy whatever they want. Some people think this can cause bad habits and ideas about money in children. Others think the opposite. What's your opinion?
In this day and age, parents in China tend to spend almost all their savings on children, hoping that they can outcompete peers by obtaining more outstanding skills, let alone weekly money. However, some experts worry that children will spoiled by parents and lose the ability to their living. As far as I am concerned, I contend that parents can give their children limited weekly money, which can not only cultivate their habits of money management but also relieve their burden.
Initially, weekly money from parents enables children to concentrate on academic development without worrying how to sustain their daily lives. As we can see, schools in China put increasingly emphasize on study, so students are always bombard with a large amount of tasks such as assignments, presentations and exams. Therefore, they have no time for extracurricular activities or even entertainments. Without weekly money, they will lead a considerably miserable life, striving to find a balance between preparing school works and doing part-time jobs. Take myself as example, I chose 12 courses last semester, joined an internship program and participated in 3 mathematics competitions. Since I have been longing for being accepted by the postgraduate program of my dream school, I got mountains of things to deal with. Had it not been my parents’ support, I would not have been fight my way out during these though days.
In addition, someone may assert that weekly money causes bad habits and ideas about money in children, stating that children will take the money for granted and spend it without restriction. Also, they suggest that forcing children to do part-time jobs helps to enhance their abilities of living by themselves and relieve parents’ burden. However, plausible as it sounds, the idea dos not hold water. Parents can grab opportunities to teach their children how to manage their money efficiently. What’s more, they can share opinions on how to allocate asset among several financial markets such as stock market, bond market and monetary market. On the one hand, after raising children’s consciousness of money management, they are less likely to spend money at will but calculate precisely before buying their favourable things. On the other hand, children can apply for student loans instead of wasting precious time on repetitive and simple tasks, since they can not afford to pay the price for falling behind others academically.
In conclusion, considering all the factors above, I firmly insist that parents offer weekly money to children. Only in this way can children get to know practical skills of money management and ensure their academic performance.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 238, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'spoil'
Suggestion: spoil
..., some experts worry that children will spoiled by parents and lose the ability to thei...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 237, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'bombarded'.
Suggestion: bombarded
...hasize on study, so students are always bombard with a large amount of tasks such as as...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, so, therefore, in addition, in conclusion, such as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 15.1003584229 40% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 44.0 43.0788530466 102% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 52.1666666667 117% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2271.0 1977.66487455 115% => OK
No of words: 429.0 407.700716846 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.29370629371 4.8611393121 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55107846309 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84556101109 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 257.0 212.727598566 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.599067599068 0.524837075471 114% => OK
syllable_count: 685.8 618.680645161 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.2170014076 48.9658058833 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.526315789 100.406767564 119% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.5789473684 20.6045352989 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.15789473684 5.45110844103 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.412724035552 0.236089414692 175% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.126390744998 0.076458572812 165% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0971573867878 0.0737576698707 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.267220206846 0.150856017488 177% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.101974245765 0.0645574589148 158% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 11.7677419355 126% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.7 10.9000537634 126% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.14 8.01818996416 114% => OK
difficult_words: 120.0 86.8835125448 138% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.