People who do not work because they have enough money are rarely happy

Essay topics:

People who do not work because they have enough money are rarely happy.

It goes without saying that working or having a job is the most important part of our lives. There has been a controversial debate among people as to whether people not working and having enough money are happy. From my perspective, rarely are people who are unemployment happy even if they are rich, and two reasons to support my view point are presented as follows.
To begin with, people not having a job will have some mental and psychological problems. It is not a secret to anyone that it is human nature to keep in touch and communicate with other individuals living in the society; we as social creatures are interested in meeting new people, but losing our connection with the outer world will make us unsatisfied since we do not work, communicate or even cooperate with others with is detrimental for mental health. More over making money by our own efforts is more enjoyable that sitting and waiting for money to come. Thus, keeping away from work places and different people, we will definitely feel unhappy and unsatisfied with the living. No longer are we able to enjoy every little happening since we feel isolated from the society. As you can see, behaving according to our instinct and nature, working and communicating with members of the society, we are less likely to get depression or any kinds of mental problems.
Furthermore, those not working cannot be successful individuals in their future. It is clear that everybody in this progressive world is looking for a decent job in order to make a way to facilitate the way of living and to have an opportunity to make progress. It is so excited to have a motive to work because we are sure that we are capable enough of being successful. To put it in more vivid picture, when I was a university student, I had to friends studying the same major as me; one of them Sara had a rich father, who paid money for everything that Sara wanted, and the other one Ziba was working in a company as an intern, after graduation Ziba became a successful girl of who everybody proud because of her previous background, but Sara is now unemployment. Had Sara not relied on her father to meet her needs, she would be more successful.
In sum, some people I am sure would disagree with my view; unemployment people are not happy. Not only will they have some psychological problems, they will also lose their chance to be successful and useful people.

Votes
Average: 5.8 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 145, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
...een a controversial debate among people as to whether people not working and having enough mo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 234, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[4]
Message: The adverb 'rarely' is usually put after the verb 'are'.
Suggestion: are rarely
...h money are happy. From my perspective, rarely are people who are unemployment happy even ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 252, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
... From my perspective, rarely are people who are unemployment happy even if they are ric...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 447, Rule ID: TO_NON_BASE[1]
Message: The verb after "to" should be in the base form: 'friend'.
Suggestion: friend
...en I was a university student, I had to friends studying the same major as me; one of t...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, if, look, so, thus, as to, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 15.1003584229 179% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 43.0788530466 104% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 52.1666666667 105% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1985.0 1977.66487455 100% => OK
No of words: 425.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.67058823529 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54043259262 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67997417743 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 221.0 212.727598566 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.52 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 651.6 618.680645161 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 93.2241083358 48.9658058833 190% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.0625 100.406767564 124% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.5625 20.6045352989 129% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.45110844103 73% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.30895600611 0.236089414692 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0966277848416 0.076458572812 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0833477804176 0.0737576698707 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.196909187146 0.150856017488 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.115308141537 0.0645574589148 179% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 11.7677419355 117% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.1 10.9000537634 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.9 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 86.8835125448 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.