Sample TOEFL essay: do you agree or disagree with the following statement? people should sometimes do things that they do not enjoy doing. use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

In countries that have oil, they are always under the dominance of developed countries, their people are always harmed because there is no benefit to the sale of oil in people's lives. People are often dissatisfied with their work. Also, many people are not in the same position as their field of study. When somebody haven’t any satisfied of his job, it’s mean they are not enjoying it, but they have to do it. In my opinion, even in these countries, if people have more small pleasures such as, the beauty of the spring like as, the sounds of the birds after the rainy day or the little girl's laughter in the park all have a motive to keep working.

First, some people do not have satisfied of their job because they think, they aren’t useful and no one know their talent so, they feel lost. For example, Iran is a country has oil, but people haven’t any benefit of soled out it from government to sell it. When people can’t afford of their family demands so, they should work more than others and maybe they should work in 2 or 3 jobs together without any holidays and they should wish to all good things come to an end.

Second, single parents should hardworking for their children, actually it’s not matter what’s job they do, just make money and provide a welfare life is the most important of their duty. For example, I’m 23 years old and I’m a single mom. My partner left me one months ago and now I’m 8 months pregnant, but I should work 48 hours shift and one-day rest and its repeat again, always I have backache and contractions but I must tolerate these situations.

Third, in some situations, humans should lower their expectations to have satisfied their place. For example, when a student graduated from university, he or she shouldn’t demand of find job with high salary in the best company of the big cities. Although, they get trained for a while, after that find a job related to their field of study. For example, refugees couldn’t stay in big cities in Australia also, they should find job in villages too.

In conclusion, its depends on how people think about their life and their goals, because a ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what a ship is for. People should do their best and at end they achieve happiness.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (4 votes)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 599, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'girls'' or 'girl's'?
Suggestion: girls'; girl's
...birds after the rainy day or the little girls laughter in the park all have a motive ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 279, Rule ID: ONE_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use the numeral 'one' with plural words. Did you mean 'one month', 'a month', or simply 'months'?
Suggestion: one month; a month; months
...apos;m a single mom. My partner left me one months ago and now I'm 8 months pregnant,...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 388, Rule ID: REPEAT_AGAIN[1]
Message: Use simply 'repeat'.
Suggestion: repeat
...48 hours shift and one-day rest and its repeat again, always I have backache and contraction...
^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, if, may, second, so, third, while, for example, in conclusion, such as, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 50.0 43.0788530466 116% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 52.1666666667 94% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1914.0 1977.66487455 97% => OK
No of words: 409.0 407.700716846 100% => OK
Chars per words: 4.67970660147 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49708221141 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.45708985327 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 212.727598566 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.535452322738 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 569.7 618.680645161 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.7938748781 48.9658058833 120% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.588235294 100.406767564 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.0588235294 20.6045352989 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.64705882353 5.45110844103 122% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.153546211137 0.236089414692 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0629971171837 0.076458572812 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0580712430543 0.0737576698707 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.102472883026 0.150856017488 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.043158338773 0.0645574589148 67% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 11.7677419355 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 64.04 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.16 10.9000537634 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.68 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 86.8835125448 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 80 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.