Some famous athletes and entertainers earn millions of dollars every year. Do you think these people deserve such high salaries? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
We all know that rich celebrities enjoy fancy lives, that are very different from the common population. Some of them have worked very hard during their lives to reach their precious status, and others may just have had luck and talent. Despite the fact that the business of entertainment and sports moves vast amounts of money and some people who work in it are incredibly talented and hardworking, I believe that entertainers and athletes should not earn millions and millions of dollars due to the reasons that I will explain in the present essay.
First of all, we live in a world of inequalities due to a horrible distribution of resources. The idea that few people make huge amounts of money, and at the same time, others die because of hunger is very sad. It may be difficult to point out just a person or industry responsible for this, but I think the government has something to do with it. If there were a public institution which regulates the salaries of the people, there would not be significant differences between salaries. For example, the government could present by law the ranges of salaries for each occupation, according to the working hours, education background, and danger of the work, among other factors. In this case, entertainers and athletes can see their salaries diminish, but for a good cause; in order to pay more to workers who don’t have a unique talent, or have had neither luck nor opportunities, and earn very little.
Second, nobody needs millions of dollars to live, so they could perfectly live well even if they earned 10% of their salary. If our economic and political system was very organized and distributed money effectively, there would not be poverty. Of course, inequality might be something natural on this planet because not all businesses are equally lucrative. However, extreme wellness is not good since it implies the exploitation of resources just for one person or family. For instance, Richard Raymond, an entertainer and owner of a TV station, has a salary of 10 million dollars. He could live luxuriously with 1 million dollars, and the rest of his money could be used for charity or the creation of employment for other less lucky persons.
In summary, I believe millionaire entertainers and sportsmen should not earn as much because it contributes to inequality and they could live well not being extremely rich.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, may, second, so, well, for example, for instance, i think, in summary, of course, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 24.0 13.8261648746 174% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 43.0788530466 72% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1991.0 1977.66487455 101% => OK
No of words: 402.0 407.700716846 99% => OK
Chars per words: 4.95273631841 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47771567384 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77439027624 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 212.727598566 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.572139303483 0.524837075471 109% => OK
syllable_count: 621.9 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 8.0 1.86738351254 428% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 54.9246287539 48.9658058833 112% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.4375 100.406767564 124% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.125 20.6045352989 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.4375 5.45110844103 136% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.140490868758 0.236089414692 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0430536831859 0.076458572812 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0521942758524 0.0737576698707 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0887846268295 0.150856017488 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0345981337923 0.0645574589148 54% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 11.7677419355 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 58.1214874552 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.73 10.9000537634 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.57 8.01818996416 107% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 86.8835125448 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.