It is critically important that children should do their best to get high marks in schools. Their parents can help them to get this point. There are several ways that parents choose to cheer their children. One of these methods is offering money. Although some people use the money to encourage their children to get high scores, others think this is a terrible idea. When it comes to me, I believe that money is not an excellent choice to be selected as a tool for high numbers in schools. In what follows, I will elaborate on my viewpoint.
To begin with, the goal of education is forgotten by giving money for high scores. It should be taught that education is beneficial for children’s future, so they are responsible for their good grades or bad ones. Children should attempt to study hard in order to achieve high grades. Additionally, if they can not get a good mark, they should try harder to be successful. When parents offer money for preferable grades, children disremember the fundamental purpose of school and knowledge because they think about the money. However, parents can buy a present to encourage their children randomly to omit their children’s expectations. As a result, giving money for good scores is not a good idea, because children should understand the mean of education and responsibility.
Secondly, the offered money has unpleasant consequences on other students. Children spend a major part of a day in schools, which means that they communicate continuously, so having a strong influence on each other. When parents suggest money for high grades, other students are tempted to request their parents to begin this method. Maybe it challenges parents to accept this suggestion because some parents have their own strategy to train their children, and maybe they are in financial shortages. Nonetheless, parents can support schools in order to encourage all students to do better in their courses. Accordingly, receiving money for good marks in school is not a good suggestion.
In conclusion, with all taken into account, I consider that children should not be given money for high marks. This is because the purpose of education and responsibility is forgotten by these children. In addition, giving money affects other students in an unpleasant way that causes challenging
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It is critically important that children...
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...ows, I will elaborate on my viewpoint. To begin with, the goal of education is ...
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... mean of education and responsibility. Secondly, the offered money has unpleasa...
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...ks in school is not a good suggestion. In conclusion, with all taken into accou...
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Message: Consider replacing "in an unpleasant way" with adverb for "unpleasant"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...on, giving money affects other students in an unpleasant way that causes challenging
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, however, if, may, nonetheless, second, secondly, so, in addition, in conclusion, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 43.0788530466 95% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1933.0 1977.66487455 98% => OK
No of words: 380.0 407.700716846 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.08684210526 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41515443553 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81120014591 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 212.727598566 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.486842105263 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 575.1 618.680645161 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.3080937841 48.9658058833 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.0434782609 100.406767564 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.5217391304 20.6045352989 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.21739130435 5.45110844103 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.446422177726 0.236089414692 189% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.135254796655 0.076458572812 177% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.073612820581 0.0737576698707 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.282625232521 0.150856017488 187% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.096290963784 0.0645574589148 149% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 11.7677419355 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 10.1575268817 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 10.9000537634 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.75 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 86.8835125448 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.