Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics:

Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?

When talking about how to educate children, some parents focus mainly on the grade of their children, which in their view delivers the concentration and time their kids devote on study. And in order to improve their kids' mark, part of the parent choose to offer money for each high grade from their children. However, from my perspective, I rebuts this idea.

Admittedly, using the lure of money can directly promote their children's attention on study. And school-age-children seem to work harder in order to obtain the grants. Thus, the parents live under the illusion that as long as they continue ultilize this method, their children will be able to end up with good grade and go to a favored college. However, they fail to take account into the passive effects of the money-intruging tactic.

For one thing, lure of money may distort children's value toward society and the world. This may give them a hint, that everything can be achieved through fortune. They may compete with others on clothes, shoes, CDs, the newest cell phones, and hence spend even less attention on their study. What's worse? In some extreme examples, children may cheat their parents in order to get the money. This case is not rare, in reality, many people have seen.

Moreover, parents actually have other beneficial method instead of this one. Most parents choose money method because they do not devote enough time and patience on their children. They stay with their works and customers more than with their kids, and they care less about the children's behaviors at school. However, they want the kids become a model between other kids without spending enough time with them. That is rediculous, a mission impossible. Communicating with the kids and dealing with issues together is better choice to boost the grade as well as the mental health.

Based on the discussion above, despite of the fact that by offering children money for high grade, children can improve their temparary attention on study, its passive effects are far outweigh its positive sides and will play a negative role on children's growth in their lifetime. I stongly disagree with the topic mentioned above.

Votes
Average: 8.7 (3 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 342, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[1]
Message: The pronoun 'I' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'rebut'
Suggestion: rebut
...ildren. However, from my perspective, I rebuts this idea. Admittedly, using the lur...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 293, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
...end even less attention on their study. Whats worse? In some extreme examples, childr...
^^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['actually', 'but', 'hence', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'moreover', 'so', 'thus', 'well', 'talking about', 'as well as', 'for one thing']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.257352941176 0.229887763892 112% => OK
Verbs: 0.127450980392 0.158761421928 80% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0686274509804 0.0866891130778 79% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0588235294118 0.046263068375 127% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0686274509804 0.0685040099705 100% => OK
Prepositions: 0.137254901961 0.118717715034 116% => OK
Participles: 0.0220588235294 0.0351676179071 63% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.45247243477 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0245098039216 0.0309702414327 79% => OK
Particles: 0.00245098039216 0.00188951952338 130% => OK
Determiners: 0.0833333333333 0.0887237588012 94% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0220588235294 0.0209618222197 105% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00735294117647 0.0139019557991 53% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2167.0 2387.08602151 91% => OK
No of words: 362.0 408.028673835 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.9861878453 5.86048508987 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.36191444098 4.48200974243 97% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.345303867403 0.338922669872 102% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.24861878453 0.251872472559 99% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.151933701657 0.174417080927 87% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0801104972376 0.112833075102 71% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.45247243477 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 202.0 212.727598566 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.558011049724 0.524397521467 106% => OK
Word variations: 62.400448396 59.2087087015 105% => OK
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6684587814 102% => OK
Sentence length: 17.2380952381 20.5533526081 84% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.1808603787 48.84282405 117% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.19047619 120.699889404 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.2380952381 20.5533526081 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.619047619048 0.644075263715 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.5376344086 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.54480286738 36% => OK
Readability: 42.0999736911 45.7405998639 92% => OK
Elegance: 1.63461538462 1.45489161554 112% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.26966711431 0.300154397459 90% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0863182463755 0.103427244359 83% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0712301061202 0.0752933317313 95% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.46239761211 0.497263757937 93% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.208563464057 0.151897553556 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0878473095009 0.114077575197 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0714534087395 0.0781384742642 91% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.311430570225 0.336927656856 92% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0746874150052 0.067059652881 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.169654501069 0.210909579961 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0540213025656 0.0618886996521 87% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8870967742 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.86379928315 129% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.91756272401 102% => OK
Positive topic words: 10.0 8.42114695341 119% => OK
Negative topic words: 2.0 2.4623655914 81% => OK
Neutral topic words: 2.0 2.75985663082 72% => OK
Total topic words: 14.0 13.6433691756 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.