Some parents forbid young children from owning smart phones cell phones with Internet access while others disagree and believe that they are important tools for keeping in touch Which point of view do you think is better and why

Essay topics:

Some parents forbid young children from owning smart phones (cell phones with Internet access), while others disagree and believe that they are important tools for keeping in touch. Which point of view do you think is better, and why?

Submitted by semi on Sat, 02/22/2020 - 19:51

With the depeloping of the new technology, the life of people is changing too, especially new generation's life. People are being very depended on cell phone, I pads, and moreover internet. There are many discutions on giving access to the kids of using the smart phones.
Personally, I believe that parents should not allow children to use the smart phones, and internet, becasue it has a bad in impact on their life.
I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the subsequent essay.

First of all, kids that have access to the internet, become addicted on it, and spend too much time navigating , and playing games. While they could be doing something more interesting and more in their favor. Some parents find this as the easiest way to get rid of their kids crying and messiness.
My personal experience is a compelling example of this. My nephew is six years old, he is a bright kid, but as most of the kids today spends to much time on internet watching youtube videos, and playing games. This age is critical because he even does not know how to protect himself from those millions of internet traps. But , their parents bought him a tablet, because in this way he stays quite, calm, and they save themselves from child screamings. This makes me upset because for him now is the right time to play with other toddlers. One day I took him out, and we started to play with a ball, but he did not know how to play, and first he became upset, but after several different games that we played, he was so happy, and his face, eyes were really shinning from happiness. What is more important I got to know him better, and he got to know himself more. Since that day every time that I go to visit him, he asks me to go out.

Secondly, reduce their creativity, since they just play al the day long on internet. Those children do not know how to interact with others, they do not have a social life. Furthermore they become introvert, which is not going to help them in the future.
For instance, I was an old generation kid who grew up playing outside with same aged kids, for me my childhood is the best part of my life. I have the best memories, becasue even why we did not have many toys, we used to create different games by our imagination, we knew how to enjoy the time, and how to be happy.
Moreover we were more in good physical fit, since we were running , and playing most of the time. But, nowdays children are suffering from obesity, because they stay all the day long in a cautch exporing the internet. That is why kids should leave to play outside and not to play with the phone.

In conclusion, I am of the opinion that kids should be rised as kids, no smart phones for them, they will be using them for the other rest of their lives. We have to let them enjoy the childhood, this precious gift that ends fast. This because they create addiction, as a result spend too much time using them, meanwhile forget to live the reality, and enjoy time with their family. And because it influences in a negative way on their mental, social, and physical behaviour.

Votes
Average: 7.1 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
Independent TOEFL Writing

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 95, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'generations'' or 'generation's'?
Suggestion: generations'; generation's
... people is changing too, especially new generations life. People are being very depended on...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 161, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[1]
Message: The pronoun 'I' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'pad'
Suggestion: pad
...re being very depended on cell phone, I pads, and moreover internet. There are many ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 111, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...n it, and spend too much time navigating , and playing games. While they could be ...
^^
Line 6, column 141, Rule ID: TO_TOO[2]
Message: Did you mean 'too'?
Suggestion: too
...d, but as most of the kids today spends to much time on internet watching youtube ...
^^
Line 6, column 326, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...om those millions of internet traps. But , their parents bought him a tablet, beca...
^^
Line 6, column 671, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'several'.
Suggestion: several
...y, and first he became upset, but after several different games that we played, he was so happy, ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 174, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Furthermore,
...others, they do not have a social life. Furthermore they become introvert, which is not goi...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...o enjoy the time, and how to be happy. Moreover we were more in good physical fit, sinc...
^^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 66, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...good physical fit, since we were running , and playing most of the time. But, nowd...
^^
Line 12, column 410, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a negative way" with adverb for "negative"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...their family. And because it influences in a negative way on their mental, social, and physical b...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, if, moreover, really, second, secondly, so, while, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, as a result, first of all, what is more

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 15.1003584229 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 13.8261648746 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 85.0 43.0788530466 197% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 71.0 52.1666666667 136% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2533.0 1977.66487455 128% => OK
No of words: 568.0 407.700716846 139% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.45950704225 4.8611393121 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.88187981987 4.48103885553 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.30945065836 2.67179642975 86% => OK
Unique words: 272.0 212.727598566 128% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.478873239437 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 772.2 618.680645161 125% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 23.0 9.59856630824 240% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 18.0 1.86738351254 964% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 20.6003584229 136% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.3030611082 48.9658058833 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.4642857143 100.406767564 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.2857142857 20.6045352989 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.42857142857 5.45110844103 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 9.0 4.53405017921 198% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 10.0 5.5376344086 181% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.189405661225 0.236089414692 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0554610789497 0.076458572812 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0424245354033 0.0737576698707 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0950561631628 0.150856017488 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0308366489163 0.0645574589148 48% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.7 11.7677419355 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.59 10.9000537634 79% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.13 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 86.8835125448 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 30 minutes.

Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.