The decent upbringing of children have always been the most significant concern of parents. Parents try their best to provide all the facilities needed for success of their offspring. As education is building block for progress of children, parents try to encourage their children to study hard and gain high scores. In this regard, some people believe that encouraging children by offering money for each high score is an influntial method; others hold the view that this method has some negative consequences. I consider myself in the latter group and I will elaborate on my viewpoint in the following paragraphs.
First and foremost, Although encouraging can persuade children to study more, they should understand the importance of studying and do it for its own not for getting a reward. When children perceive the the prominent influences of studying diligently, they would do their best to attain high scores and accomplishment. But when they study just to obtain some gifts, they would lose their motivation as soon as their parents stop giving them gifts or money.
Secondly, it is crystal clear that parents can not offer children money forever and this approach is ephemeral. For instance, when children grow up and attend univesities, they would not be satisfied with a low amount of money that their parents would give them because they need more money to fulfill their demands. On the other hand, parents can not give their children a great amount of money due to economic depression that most of societies are dealing with. Keeping these reasons in mind, students who are dependent on money to pursue studying would easily lose their impetuse and even leave their universities. But students who know that studying would pave the way for them to be successful try their best to achieve their goals.Therefore, parents should clarify the importance of studying for children so that they would be willing to do their homeworks and be persistance without need of getting money.
In conclusion, taking into account what was already mentioned, I do believe that encouraging students by giving money not only would make students dependent on reward but also may have some negative impacts on their motivation in long-term.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 199, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...etting a reward. When children perceive the the prominent influences of studying dilige...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 199, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...etting a reward. When children perceive the the prominent influences of studying dilige...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 429, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the societies') or simply say ''most societies''.
Suggestion: most of the societies; most societies
...f money due to economic depression that most of societies are dealing with. Keeping these reasons...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 738, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Therefore
...l try their best to achieve their goals.Therefore, parents should clarify the importance ...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, for instance, in conclusion, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 43.0788530466 104% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 52.1666666667 79% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1870.0 1977.66487455 95% => OK
No of words: 365.0 407.700716846 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.12328767123 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37092360658 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69207325262 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 212.727598566 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.512328767123 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 551.7 618.680645161 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 56.4895240423 48.9658058833 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.571428571 100.406767564 133% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.0714285714 20.6045352989 127% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.57142857143 5.45110844103 139% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.330337059712 0.236089414692 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.131683298594 0.076458572812 172% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0629871881264 0.0737576698707 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.20904124485 0.150856017488 139% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0758277291096 0.0645574589148 117% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.7 11.7677419355 133% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.71 10.9000537634 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.3 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 86.8835125448 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 65.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 19.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.