In this highly competitive world, having a strong academic background makes students more likely to have a nice job and succeed in his or her career. Thus, nowadays parents put more effort to persuade their kids to study harder. They use various methods, from letting kids attend expensive cram schools to award kids money whenever they achieve high grades. However, whether parents should use money as one of the stimulus for kids is hotly debated in our society. Personally, I disagree with this method and believe it will have a negative effect on children's development. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will elaborate in the following passages.
First and foremost, using money as a reward will have a harmful effect on students' attitude toward the meaning of study. Students should be taught to learn for themselves' sake, and the meaning of study is about finding the truth, enriching their lives, and preparing themselves well when they enter workspace. Studying shouldn't be complicated with money, because money will pollute the essence of it. My cousin's experience can be a compelling example of this argument. Her parents tended to reward her every time she had a high grade. This gesture made her believe that winning money was the only meaning of study. When her parents finally noticed this huge mistake and stopped rewarding her with money, it was too late. She no longer saw study as a way of self-improvement, but barely a tool to get rewards. We should guide our kids to appreciate the benefits of studying, rather than putting rewards in front of them.
Secondly, the positive effect of rewarding kids with money won't last long. If a kid is taught to study harder to get more money from his parents, when his parents stop providing such money for him, he will lose interest in studying and his grades will fall quickly too. Money can only be an external and instant stimulus for people. It will never drive them from the bottom of their heart and change their attitude thoroughly, which are mostly internal stimulus.
Admittedly, money can be important to some extent . By using it properly, it can serve as a nice reward and have some impact on students. However, totally relying on it is a problematic idea and people should be more cautious about the use.
In conclusion, based on what has been discussed above, I truly believe that parents shouldn't offer money to their kids even when they have better grades. They should teach their kids what the essence of study is, and learning better can only be achieved when they are driven by internal stimulus.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 75, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
... a reward will have a harmful effect on students attitude toward the meaning of study. S...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 320, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: shouldn't
...ell when they enter workspace. Studying shouldnt be complicated with money, because mone...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 50, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...y, money can be important to some extent . By using it properly, it can serve as a...
^^
Line 8, column 85, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: shouldn't
...sed above, I truly believe that parents shouldnt offer money to their kids even when the...
^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 226, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to better', 'to well'
Suggestion: to better; to well
...t the essence of study is, and learning better can only be achieved when they are driv...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, however, if, second, secondly, so, thus, well, as to, i feel, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 43.0788530466 123% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2149.0 1977.66487455 109% => OK
No of words: 442.0 407.700716846 108% => OK
Chars per words: 4.86199095023 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58517132086 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.45572673286 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 232.0 212.727598566 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.524886877828 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 665.1 618.680645161 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.3038387956 48.9658058833 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 89.5416666667 100.406767564 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.4166666667 20.6045352989 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.45110844103 73% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.229970753584 0.236089414692 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0650953271598 0.076458572812 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0334634339201 0.0737576698707 45% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.130299228696 0.150856017488 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0379451672593 0.0645574589148 59% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 11.7677419355 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.91 10.9000537634 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.03 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 86.8835125448 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.