Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
In this progressive and sophisticated world where we live, human beings have been looking for best ways for proper children nurturing. Many individuals believe, it is an appropriate way to offering school-age children money for each grade they get in school. However, some others have an opposite point of view. In my vantage point it is not proper to offer little students money as present for high marks they get in school. In what follows, I will elaborate on my vantage point.
First, it is significant to be mentioned that, school-age children are not mature enough to manage their money receiving as a gift for their good performance at school. To be more specific, little students do not have enough knowledge and experience to control and manage their money and do not waste it on buying unnecessary stuff. In addition, they are not mature enough to recognize good and bad ways of spending money, so offering them money for their high grads in school, pave a way for them to waste their money and maybe in an incorrect way leading to have consequences. For instance, my father used to give me money for my high grades when I was 9 years old. I wasted my money on buying video games and playing with them entire the week. As a result, I could not concentrate on my other lessons and lost their grades. If my father had not gave me money as a gift, I would have passed my other lessons.
Another reason which deserves some attention here is that, suggesting money as a present for young students, negatively affects students' behavior and influences their future. Offering money for school-age children for their each high marks, makes them less enthusiastic about learning lessons, and their only motivation is money and receiving money causing aberrant behavior not only at this age but also in their future career. To put it in other words, student should study their lessons and achieve high grades in order to consolidate their knowledge and enhance they educational performance, not because of receiving money from their parents.
From what has been discussed above, we may reach the conclusion that, parents should not offer money to school- age children for their high grades. Since, lack of ability to manage the money in children leads to wasting the money. Besides, it will ruin their behavior.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 366, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
... point it is not proper to offer little students money as present for high marks they ge...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 530, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an incorrect way" with adverb for "incorrect"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...for them to waste their money and maybe in an incorrect way leading to have consequences. For insta...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 849, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'given'.
Suggestion: given
...lost their grades. If my father had not gave me money as a gift, I would have passed...
^^^^
Line 7, column 149, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Since” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ol- age children for their high grades. Since, lack of ability to manage the money in...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, however, if, look, may, so, thus, for instance, in addition, as a result, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 51.0 43.0788530466 118% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 52.1666666667 82% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1922.0 1977.66487455 97% => OK
No of words: 395.0 407.700716846 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.86582278481 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45809453852 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54492214918 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 195.0 212.727598566 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.493670886076 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 589.5 618.680645161 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 63.6776217063 48.9658058833 130% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.777777778 100.406767564 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.9444444444 20.6045352989 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.38888888889 5.45110844103 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.473008886881 0.236089414692 200% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.155796705783 0.076458572812 204% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.127933917655 0.0737576698707 173% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.320341758309 0.150856017488 212% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0354325998838 0.0645574589148 55% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 11.7677419355 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 58.1214874552 101% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.97 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.0 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 86.8835125448 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.