Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
In today's world, with its galloping progress, knowledge is an indispensable part of a modern lifestyle; which basis is formed in the school education. From long ago, the human being has to pave the way of improving this knowledge by enhancing teaching methods and enriching the student's basic knowledge. However, there has always been a heated controversy as to whether giving short-term prizes such as money to accomplished child students is advantageous or not. As far as I'm concerned, the virtues of offering money to them as a prize for their attained high scores, substantially outweigh those of otherwise for some reasons, among which, the issue of psychological encouragement and improving their personality are the more considerable ones.
Giving the child students an amount of money as a prize will encourage them to improve their knowledge during a repeating cycle of triumphs. As psychologists say, there is a strong relationship between giving an award for doing an action and the repetition of that. The more you give a prize, the more probability of repeating that specific action. So based on this psychology expression and as far as the student's knowledge is concerned, giving them a prize such as money will encourage them to repeat their success again. When he or she repeat the triumph, by giving him or her another reward he will try to follow another success path and so on. The outcome of this cycle is a proficient person who has challenged overtime over and over and is able to overcome such complicated situations.
Moreover, offering prizes like money to students not only will improve their knowledge but will help them to improve their personality. A recent research has shown the students who have got a special amount of money for a period of time, will be successful in their future lives and careers especially in those which are concerned with managing. Just as they give an amount of money they intentionally will choose a way to better manage this money. Improving such skills in the student obviously means that they can also become able to manage their time, personality, or even huger amounts of money in the future; so improve their personality in order to not to be a one-dimensional person.
To make a long story short, although some people believe there is not any benefit in giving short-term prizes to child students such as money; I, personally, subscribe to the idea that offering them this kind of awards will absolutely encourage them to improve their knowledge and also become a person with a wide spectrum of abilities. By doing so, let's improve the future quality of our societies knowledge.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 357, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
...re has always been a heated controversy as to whether giving short-term prizes such as money ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 475, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: I'm
...dents is advantageous or not. As far as Im concerned, the virtues of offering mone...
^^
Line 3, column 407, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...psychology expression and as far as the students knowledge is concerned, giving them a p...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 540, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'repeats'.
Suggestion: repeats
...eat their success again. When he or she repeat the triumph, by giving him or her anoth...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 137, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[3]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'recent research'.
Suggestion: Recent research
...help them to improve their personality. A recent research has shown the students who have got a s...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 223, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...ave got a special amount of money for a period of time, will be successful in their future liv...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, moreover, so, as to, kind of, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 43.0788530466 91% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 52.1666666667 111% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2212.0 1977.66487455 112% => OK
No of words: 443.0 407.700716846 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.99322799097 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58776254615 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83733080851 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 213.0 212.727598566 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.480812641084 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 702.9 618.680645161 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 9.59856630824 0% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 68.9279231789 48.9658058833 141% => OK
Chars per sentence: 138.25 100.406767564 138% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.6875 20.6045352989 134% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.8125 5.45110844103 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.176927804133 0.236089414692 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.063545217408 0.076458572812 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0425881834397 0.0737576698707 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.119549289406 0.150856017488 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0298856022097 0.0645574589148 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.9 11.7677419355 135% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 58.1214874552 76% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.1575268817 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.96 10.9000537634 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.54 8.01818996416 107% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 86.8835125448 115% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.