Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives.Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Every day we see lots of advertisements around us. They are the key part of the modern businesses. Many companies and businesses are promoted using the advertising tool. Although, some people believe that advertisements can improve their life quality, others casts doubt on. Considering the both side, personally, I agree with the first viewpoint that says advertisements can play an important positive role in our life. I would provide two reasons for my choice.
First, advertisements can provide good resources of information for customers. This means that, as consumers, people need reliable resources to choose their needed goods or services. Therefore, advertisement introduces completely new products and services to the world and also gives the costumers more choices. For example, I remember that some years ago, when I was a MSc. student in University of Zanjan, I needed to go to English class to get prepared for the TOEFL test. That time, it was very difficult for me to find a great English class, because my university’s campus was at outskirt of the city. Also, the transportation system to the city was poor and I did not access to any facilities to look for English institutes by myself. Additionally, I didn’t know anyone around me who taking English class. Therefore, I checked some advertising websites and they headed me to a video sharing website called “Aparat”, where I found a great video about an English institute. Users had left lots of comments about the institutes and particularly about one of the teachers there. So, trusting them I registered online in his class. Afterward, I participated physically in his class and my English got improved. As you can see, the advertisements have really positive effects on people’s choice.
Second, advertisement creates jobs. To clarify it, advertisements directly and indirectly can create jobs. At first place, the advertising company as a business needs to employ some people for different careers such as managers, photographers, program developers and workers. Also, advertising, a business will be promoted. Consequently, the number of its customers will be increased. Afterward the business probably will need to hire more people. For example, I vividly remember an advertisement on TV which was about a pot. The program was broadcasting from a luxury kitchen hosting by a chief. The chief was cooking all the various recipes in the pots. Fortunately, I heard that the company manufacturing the pots could hire around 1000 people and sold around 1 million dollars just in a short time! Therefore, I should emphasize again that advertisement is very beneficial for people.
To sum, I believe in the modern society we require advertisement tool. It’s beneficial for introducing products and services and also providing choices for the potential customers. Besides, it is a positive activity that creates more jobs and promotes businesses. At the end, I suggest that targeted advertisements will decrease some probable crisis and every one would be aware of the benefits of the service.

Votes
Average: 8.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
Independent TOEFL Writing

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 369, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...emember that some years ago, when I was a MSc. student in University of Zanjan, I...
^
Line 2, column 376, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Student
... that some years ago, when I was a MSc. student in University of Zanjan, I needed to go...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1322, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...sitive effects on people's choice. Second, advertisement creates jobs. To c...
^^^
Line 4, column 417, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e aware of the benefits of the service.
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, consequently, first, if, look, really, second, so, therefore, for example, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 52.1666666667 96% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2607.0 1977.66487455 132% => OK
No of words: 491.0 407.700716846 120% => OK
Chars per words: 5.30957230143 4.8611393121 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70728369723 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.20252186167 2.67179642975 120% => OK
Unique words: 274.0 212.727598566 129% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.558044806517 0.524837075471 106% => OK
syllable_count: 826.2 618.680645161 134% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 9.59856630824 177% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 32.0 20.6003584229 155% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.9557786764 48.9658058833 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 81.46875 100.406767564 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.34375 20.6045352989 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.03125 5.45110844103 56% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 13.0 4.88709677419 266% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.224872072221 0.236089414692 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0538857009705 0.076458572812 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0551395859887 0.0737576698707 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.14480774059 0.150856017488 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0660297413973 0.0645574589148 102% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 11.7677419355 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.79 58.1214874552 82% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.93 10.9000537634 119% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.46 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 127.0 86.8835125448 146% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 83.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.