Some teenagers take part in different kinds of activities such as musical classes, sports classes and so on, but others only focus on one activity which is important to them. Which idea do you support?
Undoubtedly, education and learning is one of the most profitable activity in our lives, which it starts from childhood. We grow with our skills and abiliites, the better abilities we learn, the more powerful person we will be in the future. While some teenagers tend to learn diverse activities and skills, others, like me, tend to learn limited skills in more depth. I feel this way for two critical reasons, which I delve into them aptly in the following paragraghs.
First of all, focusing on one skill lead to a professional level of that ability. While teenagers spend most of their time to learn an interesting ability, they proceed soon and go to the highest level of that skill. This condition provide them a lot of advantages such as being well-known, making money through that skill, and enjoy more. Let me to put that in perspective. My brother learnt the piano since he was eight years old. He has practiced piano all his free time till now that he is twenty two year- old. Actually after five years practicing, he became a professional musicen, and paly in our city concert group. He continued his lesson as he grew up until he went to college. At the college he tutor other interested students and earned some money. He paid off his student loan with that part time job. Had he not had that skill, he could not have gotten rid off his debt.
Second, learning one skills aleviate the stress of new training in teenagers. Learning a new activity bear huge mental stress on students. They need patience to learn step by astep a novel skill. It takes many time to adopt a new ability for a teenage, and in this time they suffer from diffferent challenges. For instance, when I was in middle school, I tried to learn painting, music, and soccer at each year. The first problem was I did not have enough time to took part all those classes simultaneously, then I dropped out from two of them each year. In addition, in each skills I had hard time for at least several months to learn the basics that I need to start as a freshman. Finally, I suffer from those stresses and tensions. I dropped out all of them when I went to high school, and focused to learn math only. Not only I had not had those kinds of tensions, but I also got improved in math after one year sharply. It seems that learning several abilities put many stress on students and it is so helpful for them to focus on one skill.
In conclusion, considering all the aforementioned details and reasons, I strongly believe that teenagers should spend their time to learn a skill that they are interested in depht. This is because they can proceed in that skill and be successful and because they do not suffer from learnig manu skills stress.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion:
...em aptly in the following paragraghs. First of all, focusing on one skill lead...
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...l of that ability. While teenagers spend most of their time to learn an interesti...
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...ceed soon and go to the highest level of that skill. This condition provide them ...
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Line 2, column 716, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'tutors'.
Suggestion: tutors
...l he went to college. At the college he tutor other interested students and earned so...
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Line 2, column 810, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
... He paid off his student loan with that part time job. Had he not had that skill, he coul...
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Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...uld not have gotten rid off his debt. Second, learning one skills aleviate the...
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Line 3, column 26, Rule ID: ONE_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use the numeral 'one' with plural words. Did you mean 'one skill', 'a skill', or simply 'skills'?
Suggestion: one skill; a skill; skills
...ff his debt. Second, learning one skills aleviate the stress of new training in ...
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Line 3, column 176, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to step'
Suggestion: to step
...n students. They need patience to learn step by astep a novel skill. It takes many t...
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Line 3, column 214, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun time seems to be countable; consider using: 'many times'.
Suggestion: many times
...n step by astep a novel skill. It takes many time to adopt a new ability for a teenage, a...
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Line 3, column 379, Rule ID: AFFORD_VBG[1]
Message: This verb is used with infinitive: 'to paint'.
Suggestion: to paint
... was in middle school, I tried to learn painting, music, and soccer at each year. The fi...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lpful for them to focus on one skill. In conclusion, considering all the afore...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, if, second, so, then, well, while, at least, for instance, i feel, in addition, in conclusion, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 74.0 43.0788530466 172% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 71.0 52.1666666667 136% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2229.0 1977.66487455 113% => OK
No of words: 489.0 407.700716846 120% => OK
Chars per words: 4.55828220859 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70248278971 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.48809629181 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 247.0 212.727598566 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.505112474438 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 671.4 618.680645161 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.86738351254 321% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 20.6003584229 136% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.8282728027 48.9658058833 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 79.6071428571 100.406767564 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.4642857143 20.6045352989 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.46428571429 5.45110844103 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.5376344086 199% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.134289233815 0.236089414692 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.036708622273 0.076458572812 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0379796810665 0.0737576698707 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0773942993492 0.150856017488 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0429301474748 0.0645574589148 66% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.8 11.7677419355 75% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 71.14 58.1214874552 122% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.1575268817 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.87 10.9000537634 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.35 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 86.8835125448 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.