Some young people have free time in the evenings after school or on days off from school. Which of the following activities would be most beneficial for young people (ages 14-18) to do in their spare time? Why?
- Gaining practical work experience either at a part-time job or by volunteering in the community
- Learning to play a sport
- Learning to play a musical instrument
No one can cast a shadow of doubt on the fact that leisure time plays a pivotal role in everyone life. it is widely accepted that teenager are in the most critical period of their lives. They rapidly grow up and learn many thing through different daily activities. In regard, some people may hold the view that learning to play a musical instrument or gaining practical work experience are a good choice for their leisure time. However, some others may take an opposite view point and believe that learning play a sport is a best choice. I personally believe that learning to play a sport could be more effective and helpful for teenager leisure time. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with, teenager could enhance their skills and capabilities. Children need several skills to have successful life in the future. They have to learn different social and personal skills. Playing a sport such as soccer team, they can learn teamwork skills. They can learn social skill by playing team sports. In contrast, if a teenager dose not attend such activities, she would become a shy person in the future and she could not have be able to establish regular social relationship. for example, when I was in high school, I was a member of a soccer team. before I joined soccer team. I afraid of attending a group people and more time I was alone and spent my leisure time at my room. My close friend encourage me to learning a sport and I participate a group sport. Therefore, I could be able to attend in social group and find more friend. The more you communicate with people divers, the more you are capable of becoming successful in your life. this example demonstrate that how learning a sport in the free time help to teenager to enhance their skills.
In addition, these days with the improvement of technology and internet, teenager many time watching TV, playing online game and eating a junk food. Therefore their lifestyle are sedentary and they have lack of physical activity. So they exposed a lot of disease such as diabetes and heart attack. As recent studied shows, a host of teenager that spend free time to playing online games and have a low activity, they have overweight. so attending in sport team help teenager have a healthier life not only physical but also lifestyle. As a result, this way of learning sport help teenager to have a activity.
All in all, I firmly believe that learning play sport and playing in the leisure time is the best choice for teenager to improve their skills and lifestyle.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 104, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
... plays a pivotal role in everyone life. it is widely accepted that teenager are in...
^^
Line 1, column 508, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to play'
Suggestion: to play
...te view point and believe that learning play a sport is a best choice. I personally ...
^^^^
Line 1, column 524, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[1]
Message: Use 'the' with the superlative.
Suggestion: the
...d believe that learning play a sport is a best choice. I personally believe that ...
^
Line 2, column 443, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'been'.
Suggestion: been
...on in the future and she could not have be able to establish regular social relati...
^^
Line 2, column 493, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: For
... establish regular social relationship. for example, when I was in high school, I w...
^^^
Line 2, column 566, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Before
...chool, I was a member of a soccer team. before I joined soccer team. I afraid of atten...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 566, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “before” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...chool, I was a member of a soccer team. before I joined soccer team. I afraid of atten...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 595, Rule ID: I_AFRAID[1]
Message: You miss the verb here. You should rather write: 'I'm afraid'.
Suggestion: I'm afraid
...ccer team. before I joined soccer team. I afraid of attending a group people and more ti...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 960, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...le of becoming successful in your life. this example demonstrate that how learning a...
^^^^
Line 2, column 973, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'demonstrates'.
Suggestion: demonstrates
...g successful in your life. this example demonstrate that how learning a sport in the free t...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 149, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...ing online game and eating a junk food. Therefore their lifestyle are sedentary and they ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 434, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...e a low activity, they have overweight. so attending in sport team help teenager h...
^^
Line 3, column 569, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to sport'
Suggestion: to sport
...tyle. As a result, this way of learning sport help teenager to have a activity. All ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 597, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...of learning sport help teenager to have a activity. All in all, I firmly believe...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, so, therefore, for example, i feel, in addition, in contrast, such as, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 43.0788530466 107% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2121.0 1977.66487455 107% => OK
No of words: 452.0 407.700716846 111% => OK
Chars per words: 4.69247787611 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61088837703 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49476996203 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.473451327434 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 668.7 618.680645161 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 9.59856630824 177% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 35.3438139592 48.9658058833 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 78.5555555556 100.406767564 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.7407407407 20.6045352989 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.66666666667 5.45110844103 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 5.5376344086 253% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.17356341063 0.236089414692 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0494643699109 0.076458572812 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0497877952926 0.0737576698707 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.110002899943 0.150856017488 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0382037572993 0.0645574589148 59% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.0 11.7677419355 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 10.1575268817 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.63 10.9000537634 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.09 8.01818996416 88% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 86.8835125448 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.