Some young people have free time in the evenings after school or on days off from school. Which of the following activities would be most beneficial for young people (ages 14-18) to do in their spare time? Why?
- Gaining practical work experience either at a part time job or by volunteering in the community
- Learning to play a sport
- Learning to play a musical instrument.
The age between 14 to 18 is a very critical period of the people's life. In this period, people shape their peronality and decide for their future. In this regard, how the young people spend their leisure time in this very significant period has always been a question for both parents and the elites who study young people. I believe that in order to gain much benefit from their free time young people shuld recieve practical experience through part time job or volunteery jobs.
Young people seek to have a decent caeer path for their future. In order to have an appropriate job, I believe that they should be able to have the opportunity to work as a part time worker or volunteery worker. When people have a job opportunity that is not too difficult for them, but still that occupation considered to be serious, they can have the best benefit of that job, which is not a game nor a druggery. Although some other activities such as playing sports or learning a musical instrument are resources for future talents and can sometimes be a shourtcut to a prosperous future, for most people having a fine job in adolesence period can gurantee their future job opportunities.
According to studies, the most determining elements of success are skills, such as communication skills or teamwork skills as well as hard skills like working with computers or the ability to use a special software. On of the easiest methods of learning skills is by learning them at the work. When people utilize a specific skill or software in a real situation, they are more likely to learn it with the higher level of understanding rather than just learning it by reading a book or studing at school. When young people can learn to communicate with people in their jobs, even if those jobs are part time jobs or volunteery jobs, they can benefit very much than just learning a special skill such as playing piano or playing football. Although those activities can bring them so much happiness and joy, the likelyhood that theose young people can really learn those skills are lower than when they use some skills in a real situation like in a job.
In conclusion, we know that for having the best gain of free time for youngesters there are some options, which the most appropriate of the mentioned options is working part time or volunteery jobs. By attending a serious job, young people can have more opprtuinities in their future life and learn some useful skills in an actual workplace. Which one is more probable to be successful: a person who works in a hard and serious place or some people who love to learn a sport or a musical instrument?
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 59, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'peoples'' or 'people's'?
Suggestion: peoples'; people's
... to 18 is a very critical period of the peoples life. In this period, people shape thei...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 447, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...ld recieve practical experience through part time job or volunteery jobs. Young peop...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 174, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...le to have the opportunity to work as a part time worker or volunteery worker. When peopl...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 217, Rule ID: ON_OF_THE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'one'?
Suggestion: One
... the ability to use a special software. On of the easiest methods of learning skil...
^^
Line 9, column 599, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...e in their jobs, even if those jobs are part time jobs or volunteery jobs, they can benef...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 170, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...ate of the mentioned options is working part time or volunteery jobs. By attending a seri...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, really, so, still, well, in conclusion, such as, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 43.0788530466 79% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 52.1666666667 96% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2183.0 1977.66487455 110% => OK
No of words: 462.0 407.700716846 113% => OK
Chars per words: 4.72510822511 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63618218583 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57552110668 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 206.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.445887445887 0.524837075471 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 674.1 618.680645161 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 20.1344086022 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 62.4679918038 48.9658058833 128% => OK
Chars per sentence: 136.4375 100.406767564 136% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.875 20.6045352989 140% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.25 5.45110844103 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.34043798035 0.236089414692 144% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.133977098652 0.076458572812 175% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0640574793911 0.0737576698707 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.234487699263 0.150856017488 155% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0708991818239 0.0645574589148 110% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 11.7677419355 130% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 58.1214874552 89% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.75 10.9000537634 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.73 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 86.8835125448 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.0537634409 131% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.