Some young people have free time in the evenings after school or on days off from school. Which of the following activities would be most beneficial for young people (ages 14-18) to do in their spare time? Why?
- Gaining practical work experience either at a part time job or by volunteering in the community
- Learning to play a sport
- Learning to play a musical instrument.
Compact and competitive days we live in, forces us to have exact plan for our children's free times to be successful in their future. With this in mind, some people believe that student shoud learn a sport or playing music instrument to efficiently use their leisure times. However, I think devote time to learn some practical work experiences is more necessary than learing music or socer. The ensuing paragraphs explain my reasons to this position.
First and foremost, gaining work ecperience could help youth to learn how to take responsibility of their duty and how to be organize in a workin environment, whether they work for pay or working vuluntary. put it in other words, young and juvenile people usually have support of their parents in any aspect of their life and it makes them dependent people. working in a profesional environment help them if they do something wrong, accept their fault and try to make it up. Moreover, working place have some rules ,for instance, they have to work for a specific times, have appropriate behavior with their boss and co-workers or finishing a task in a certain deade line so, they will practice how to be organize and have plan for their responsibility. Therefore, that is why I think gaing working experience in spare times, would be a rewarding experiences for younger one.
Secondly, young people will put their knowledge into practice and increase their chanse to have a decent job in their future, if they get working experience in their leisur times. To be clarify, student in ages between 14 to 18, just learned some theorical lessons in schools such as biology, mathmatics, physics and that sort of thing. it is crystal clear that those theorical courses are not enough to help them aquire a decent job in their futher. To have a well-paid job, they need to have a good resume and also have practical experience and knowledge in the field that they intrested in. Thus, they should use their free time to learn some practical working experiences even they don't pay. An example can drive this notion home. When I was in high school, I worked in a company in my home town in my spare times. Although it hadn't any financial benefit for me, I learned a lot of skills which helped me to get a well-paid job after graduation from high school. Thats why I believe in this way.
In conclusion, I suggest that students get a part-time job or even vulentery task in their lesuir time. that is because, it not only helps them to experience an independent life and be responsible but also makes an opportunity for them to get a decent job in their future.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 208, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Put
...they work for pay or working vuluntary. put it in other words, young and juvenile p...
^^^
Line 3, column 359, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Working
...ife and it makes them dependent people. working in a profesional environment help them ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 515, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... Moreover, working place have some rules ,for instance, they have to work for a sp...
^^
Line 3, column 723, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'planned'.
Suggestion: planned
...ll practice how to be organize and have plan for their responsibility. Therefore, th...
^^^^
Line 3, column 847, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'experience'?
Suggestion: experience
...ce in spare times, would be a rewarding experiences for younger one. Secondly, young peo...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 338, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...matics, physics and that sort of thing. it is crystal clear that those theorical c...
^^
Line 5, column 687, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...practical working experiences even they dont pay. An example can drive this notion h...
^^^^
Line 5, column 832, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: hadn't
...ome town in my spare times. Although it hadnt any financial benefit for me, I learned...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 968, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: That's
... job after graduation from high school. Thats why I believe in this way. In conclu...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 105, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: That
...en vulentery task in their lesuir time. that is because, it not only helps them to e...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, well, for instance, i think, in conclusion, sort of, such as, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 63.0 43.0788530466 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 57.0 52.1666666667 109% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2155.0 1977.66487455 109% => OK
No of words: 455.0 407.700716846 112% => OK
Chars per words: 4.73626373626 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61852021839 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6159718613 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.514285714286 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 670.5 618.680645161 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.9771770829 48.9658058833 112% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.75 100.406767564 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.75 20.6045352989 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.8 5.45110844103 143% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.5376344086 181% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.362940823609 0.236089414692 154% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.103556609996 0.076458572812 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0592737342655 0.0737576698707 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.214532225787 0.150856017488 142% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0622248195052 0.0645574589148 96% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 11.7677419355 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.51 10.9000537634 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.06 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 86.8835125448 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.