Students should be encouraged to have jobs when studying at schools
Some people believe that teenagers should not be required to work while they are at school so that they can concentrate on their academics or sports. However, I feel that adolescents should be required to do jobs while they are studying.
Firstly, in this cut-throat competitive world it is essential to have some kind of professional experience when applying to schools or for jobs. Having a relevant professional or volunteering experience immensely increases one’s chances to get that desired job or to get admitted to colleges. For instance, I used to tutor young children when I was in high school and when my friend and I, right out of high school, applied to work for a tutoring company I got selected. Despite having comparable academic records, I believe I was selected but my friend was not because my friend lacked experience and I had previous experience of tutoring. Hence, working while studying can help one to get better jobs or admission to better universities.
Secondly, in order to succeed in future, it is imperative that young people find their true passion before they join a college or enter the job market. Working in different places can help people to find what they really enjoy to do. For instance, my cousin, had several different jobs when she was in school and a few months before graduation she started a job at a local zoo. While working there she figured that she absolutely loved working with animals. Consequently, she decided to pursue biology in college. Since she loved what she studied, today she became a successful biologist. Therefore, it can be said that working provides teenagers with opportunities to find what they really enjoy doing.
Lastly, working can allow young people to earn and save money, which can be exceedingly helpful for the future. When I was in high school I worked so I had the opportunity to save up a good amount of money. Initially, it did not seem like an impressive amount but the money really helped when I needed to buy a second-hand car to drive to my college regularly. The university was far and taking the bus every time would have been time consuming. Fortunately, owing to the car that I bought with the money that I saved while working as a teenager, I was able to save time.
Some state that a student’s job is to study and acquire as much knowledge as possible for a brighter future. Nevertheless, I believe students should be required to work so that they can gain experience, save money and have the chances to find their true passion.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 31, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...rsities. Secondly, in order to succeed in future, it is imperative that young people fin...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 221, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'enjoy doing'.
Suggestion: enjoy doing
...an help people to find what they really enjoy to do. For instance, my cousin, had several d...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 263, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'several'.
Suggestion: several
...joy to do. For instance, my cousin, had several different jobs when she was in school and a few m...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 378, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ation she started a job at a local zoo. While working there she figured that she abso...
^^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he chances to find their true passion.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, firstly, hence, however, if, lastly, nevertheless, really, second, secondly, so, therefore, while, for instance, i feel, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 43.0788530466 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 50.0 52.1666666667 96% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2096.0 1977.66487455 106% => OK
No of words: 437.0 407.700716846 107% => OK
Chars per words: 4.79633867277 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57214883401 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74452096189 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.482837528604 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 662.4 618.680645161 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.4251793099 48.9658058833 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.8095238095 100.406767564 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8095238095 20.6045352989 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.33333333333 5.45110844103 135% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.263511982744 0.236089414692 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0767199780725 0.076458572812 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0646518501356 0.0737576698707 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.161517574993 0.150856017488 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0648058420901 0.0645574589148 100% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.56 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.02 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 86.8835125448 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.