Nowadays, achieving a job position is a vital issue for every person. Some individuals believe that successful people have the ability to communicate with others easily. Others claim that hard-working at school has the maximum effect on people’s lifestyles and helps them to be successful in their careers. I agree to some extent with the second option and believe that although making a good relationship with others has positive influences, getting high marks at schools facilitates the process of getting promotion in a job.
To begin with, as the world is rapidly changing, people have to study harder to be dominant from other competitors. They not only have to learn school courses, but also have to study extra knowledge about some particular subjects. According to Iran education laws, only a few proportions of individuals can be accepted in the university entrance exams, and it is prioritized by individuals’ marks at high-schools. Therefore, if a person wants to be a professional in their major, they have to study harder, for most of the companies prefer to hire educated individuals.
However, studying hard is not sufficient enough to be a successful person in an occupation. Having a good communication can help individuals to get a better position on their job, for they can easily ask others for assistance whenever they need. They can find people with mutual majors and consulate them to manage their issues. An example of this is my father who is a successful doctor. When he faces with a dilemma to prescribe a medicine to a patient, he consulates with some of the knowledgeable colleagues to decide the best decision. This good relationship with others raises patients’ satisfaction rate, as he achieved the annual acknowledgment from the hospital he works for.
All in all, there are several remarkable reasons to prove that both sides of viewpoints are important for a person who wants to be success in his/her professional.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 145, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to school'
Suggestion: to school
...ompetitors. They not only have to learn school courses, but also have to study on extr...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 275, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun proportion seems to be countable; consider using: 'few proportions'.
Suggestion: few proportions
...According to Iran studying laws, only a few proportion of individuals can be accepted in the u...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 468, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...dicine to a patient, he consulates with some of the knowledgeable colleagues to decide the ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, second, so, therefore, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 26.0 43.0788530466 60% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 52.1666666667 100% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1629.0 1977.66487455 82% => OK
No of words: 318.0 407.700716846 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.12264150943 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22286093782 4.48103885553 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.10120454682 2.67179642975 116% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 212.727598566 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.572327044025 0.524837075471 109% => OK
syllable_count: 513.0 618.680645161 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.738414339 48.9658058833 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.6 100.406767564 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.2 20.6045352989 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.45110844103 73% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.168338694274 0.236089414692 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0642033620833 0.076458572812 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0348374098301 0.0737576698707 47% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.103654252387 0.150856017488 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0281398754349 0.0645574589148 44% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 11.7677419355 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 58.1214874552 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.42 10.9000537634 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.9 8.01818996416 111% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 86.8835125448 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.