TOEFL ESSAY: Advances in transportation and communication like the airplane and the telephone have changed the way that nations interact with each other in a global society. Choose another technological innovation that you think is important. Give specific reasons for your choice.
education nowadays has a potent impact on people's life. thus, parents must try their best in order to ascertain that their children study carefully and they are able to achieve high scores. Although some people may believe that paying money to children for their achievements makes them greedy, I think it is a good idea to pay money for being certain about children's educational status.
Barely can parents persuade their children to spend their time on studying rather than playing games. In fact, a kid's world is translated into games and they do not care about their future because they live in the moment. In this situation, instead of punishing children for their weak performance in school or try to speak logically with a ten years old kid we can give them some incentive for studying.
spending money on children's education is a kind of investment. if a child be able to have a successful career he or she can help their parents when they will become too old to work. if a child achieves high grades in high school, he will be able to study in top universities, which guarantees a good career for this child. For example, my father never bought me anything without any reason. Indeed, whenever I want any toys or video games, I must do something special for that. Every time I went to ask my father for anything, he set an educational goal for me. For instance, I asked to get the perfect score in math or achieve the first rank in my class. this kind of treatment from my father helped me a lot because I did not care about my future at that moment and if he had not treated me like that, I probably would not have been able to get high grades.
By way of conclusion, if I were a father, I would not cast doubt on spending my money on my son or my daughter because I know they are too young to think about their future; thus, his or her parents must pay attention to their future. I think the easiest way to convince a kid to study is using prize and money in order to make him greedy to study more.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Education
education nowadays has a potent impact on peoples...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 57, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Thus
...ys has a potent impact on peoples life. thus, parents must try their best in order t...
^^^^
Line 5, column 208, Rule ID: IN_THE_MOMENT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'at the moment' (=currently)?
Suggestion: at the moment
...re about their future because they live in the moment. In this situation, instead of punishin...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Spending
...them some incentive for studying. spending money on childrens education is a kind ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 64, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...rens education is a kind of investment. if a child be able to have a successful ca...
^^
Line 9, column 183, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
... when they will become too old to work. if a child achieves high grades in high sc...
^^
Line 9, column 657, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
... or achieve the first rank in my class. this kind of treatment from my father helped...
^^^^
Line 9, column 861, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... not have been able to get high grades. By way of conclusion, if I were a father...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, if, may, so, thus, for example, for instance, i think, in fact, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 58.0 43.0788530466 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1654.0 1977.66487455 84% => OK
No of words: 374.0 407.700716846 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.42245989305 4.8611393121 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3976220399 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.38130840098 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.532085561497 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 512.1 618.680645161 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.4010600441 48.9658058833 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.375 100.406767564 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.375 20.6045352989 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.875 5.45110844103 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0359464246406 0.236089414692 15% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.012043018384 0.076458572812 16% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0168265713464 0.0737576698707 23% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0259680101519 0.150856017488 17% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0148879273366 0.0645574589148 23% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.1 11.7677419355 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 58.1214874552 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.65 10.9000537634 79% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.44 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 86.8835125448 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.