TOPIC # 56 A company is going to give some money either to support the arts or to protect the environment. Which do you think the company should choose?
Nowadays, a prime and fundamental controversy on the issue whether a successful business must assist to an art group or an environment NGO. Some people would claim that modern life badly affected the environment and we must protect it from a disaster. However, as far as I am concerned, I agree that whole society can get influence by a supported artist, who works especially on saving the environment, for two following reasons.
The first and foremost reason that I prefer to illustrate is the effects that every art movement can have on a society. A relevant example can shed light on this assertion. 5 years ago, I joined to a company, as an art director, that was working on the duality of art and environment. Therefore, I managed to design site-specific art projects in which we invited people outside of the city to spend time in a group. consequently, each individual started to behave better to the place that we were in.
Another reason that should be taken into account is that the government spends money on saving the environment but there are hundreds of jobless artists around the country. For instance, according to a recent research study at George Washington university, the most part of students who studied arts at GWU doesn't have any sign of hope related to a future job. Moreover, young generation of artists believes that they are becoming poorer after university time. consequently, in gallery managers and experts opinion, an increase of the level in creativity between all members of a society can be reachable by spending money to art communities.
To sum up, I firmly believe that by assisting an artist by a company not only the problems of environment reduces but also new artists can have a better quality of life. The first reason that we must consider is the effects of an artist on every matter such as concerns about the environment. What is more, the government is responsible to the environment but can not invest in the art.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 417, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Consequently
...e of the city to spend time in a group. consequently, each individual started to behave bett...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 308, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...art of students who studied arts at GWU doesnt have any sign of hope related to a futu...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 462, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Consequently
... becoming poorer after university time. consequently, in gallery managers and experts opinio...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, however, if, moreover, so, therefore, for instance, such as, to sum up, what is more
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 43.0788530466 56% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 52.1666666667 96% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 8.0752688172 186% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1636.0 1977.66487455 83% => OK
No of words: 337.0 407.700716846 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.85459940653 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28457229495 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85139273429 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 212.727598566 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.581602373887 0.524837075471 111% => OK
syllable_count: 528.3 618.680645161 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.039239519 48.9658058833 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.066666667 100.406767564 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.4666666667 20.6045352989 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.73333333333 5.45110844103 142% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.125028350807 0.236089414692 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0387816868563 0.076458572812 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0265278113239 0.0737576698707 36% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0734902333843 0.150856017488 49% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.00957781531652 0.0645574589148 15% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 11.7677419355 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.15 10.9000537634 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.66 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 86.8835125448 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.