TPO-08 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Target advertising has been emerged as one of the most effective strategies to attract costumers. This advertising is directed toward a certain small group of people who assumed to be interested in the particular product. Some people, nowadays, argue that television commercial that directed towards children should be prohibited. However, I do not agree with this idea for the following reasons.

Firstly, many companies that are specialized in children products exist around the globe. and all of them have the right to advertise their product in any modality including the television. Moreover, most of these commercial are for products that are beneficial to the youth, even some of the games are intended to teach the child new skills like reading and counting, Thus, they are not merely waste of money. Furthermore, people who claim that such advertising should be stopped did not provide a logical explanation to support their arguments. In this way their claim is worthless. For instance, during the last week, I watched a commercial of an electronic robot that can talk and interact with the child, So, it enables the children as young as three years to develop considerable speaking skills. So, I decided to buy it for my son. Had I not seen that commercial, I would not able to know about it.

Secondly, even the children commercial is withdrawn from the television, children still exposed to such advertising everywhere like billboards and the internet. So, the prevention of such advertising does not carry any benefits. Moreover, more of the youth commercials are focused on the clothes, toys and video game. In addition, young children cannot go and buy anything without the approval of their parents first due to the fact that they do not have their own source of money. For example, my cousin is four years old and like to watch children programmes on television, even though there are a lot of commercials, we did not notice any negative effects on his behaviour. In contrary, he enjoyed listening to the music that accompanies these commercials.

In conclusion, one can not assume that children's advertisements have bad effects and must be prevented since these commercial does not carry any hazards to the child.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 91, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: And
...ildren products exist around the globe. and all of them have the right to advertise...
^^^
Line 3, column 282, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
... that are beneficial to the youth, even some of the games are intended to teach the child n...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 761, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...sic that accompanies these commercials. In conclusion, one can not assume that c...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, furthermore, however, moreover, second, secondly, so, still, thus, even so, for example, for instance, in addition, in conclusion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 43.0788530466 86% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1874.0 1977.66487455 95% => OK
No of words: 368.0 407.700716846 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.09239130435 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37987740619 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83834611145 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 212.727598566 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.557065217391 0.524837075471 106% => OK
syllable_count: 573.3 618.680645161 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.1745655804 48.9658058833 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.6315789474 100.406767564 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.3684210526 20.6045352989 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.63157894737 5.45110844103 140% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.1602280964 0.236089414692 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0492829807677 0.076458572812 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0525482175807 0.0737576698707 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.110612462376 0.150856017488 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0675192311792 0.0645574589148 105% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 11.7677419355 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.24 10.9000537634 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.23 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 86.8835125448 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.