TPO-10 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

During the last decades, families have experienced significant concerns in protecting their children against perils presented by the advent of computers. One of the heated debates in this realm is whether children should be allowed to play computer games. As for me, I argue that playing computer games is seriously harmful to children, and it is a waste of time. Following reasons will further elaborate on this issue.

The most prominent point to be mentioned is that computers have brought a different lifestyle to societies. To put it in general words, children who are accustomed to playing computer games for a long time are not involved in kinesthetic activities sufficiently. Consequently, these children will suffer from physical as well as mental problems such as obesity sooner or later. Indeed, they are occupying their spare time with harmful tasks that we consider them as a waste of time. Flipping to the other side of the coin, children who are prevented from playing computer games spend more time on outdoor activities including running, playing and biking. As a result, they can enjoy a healthy lifestyle throughout their existence.

My second rationale is rooted in the fact that children can spend their free time on more valuable activities to boost their range of knowledge. On the other words, young children, adolescents, and teenagers who are students can dedicate a vast amount of their time and energy to do social activities with their peers such as joining school clubs or participating in matches. Undoubtedly, such things will improve their social skills and competence that are essential for their future. Take my example which can shed some light on this issue. One of my students who often played computer games was used to fail her exams. As her parents prevented her from playing to excess, she has shown more tendency to concentrate on her lessons and has become the first ranked student after many times of failure.

To wrap it up, based on the ideas that were presented above, parents should seriously prevent their children from spending their time playing computer games. Obviously, it is a waste of time because of its severe effect on children’s' progression and health. Let us hope that more and more parents try to monitor their children against this modern monster.

Votes
Average: 8.1 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 209, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...ng children, adolescents, and teenagers who are students can dedicate a vast amount of ...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, if, second, so, well, as for, in general, such as, as a result, as well as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 43.0788530466 102% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1947.0 1977.66487455 98% => OK
No of words: 381.0 407.700716846 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.11023622047 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41805628031 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67188249287 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 212.727598566 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.53280839895 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 591.3 618.680645161 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.7499821923 48.9658058833 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.473684211 100.406767564 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0526315789 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.45110844103 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.262200488689 0.236089414692 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0894471767521 0.076458572812 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0697456807617 0.0737576698707 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.182363324884 0.150856017488 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0595925247561 0.0645574589148 92% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 11.7677419355 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 58.1214874552 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 10.9000537634 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.48 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 86.8835125448 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 81.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.