TPO 13 - 2Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The extended family (grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles) is less important now than it was in the past.

In my country, it has been increasing to have a nuclear family, which consists of parents and a child, which has led our society to an uncomfortable one. In my opinion, to have extended family should be a good solution of this problem because of following reasons; a preparation for a real society, learning being compassionate.

In a nuclear family, a child tend to be selfish, and parents are apt to let their child do whatever he likes, which makes the child more egoistic. In the real society this kind of person is not accept, furthermore, it is difficult for him to adapt himself to the society. Children have to learn how they should convey their thinking in the society, and the extended family can take this role. For example, the family with members in a variety of ages teaches children that people have different kinds of mindset . Nowadays, school kids tend to hold the same way of thinking as their friends', moreover, they are afraid that they standout by possessing distinct thoughts from others. It is not negative at all to have an specific mindset and/or to discuss that with others who have a different one. There are grandparents, parents, and a child in addition to aunts or uncles in one family, which benefits a kid in this way that I mentioned above.

In an extended family, people can learn the life of a person. It is quite important for us to know how the life goes on because it is usually not close to us on a daily basis. Furthermore, to know the meaning of death teaches us the importance of ourselves and others' lives. Recently, as the nuclear family increases, a tragic event often happens in my country, which is a murder case. According to a research by a team of sociologists, the rate of murders by a younger generations has sky-rocketed, and most of them were raised in a nuclear family, where their both parents work throughout the day, or at least half a day. In a extended family, children can become aware of how importance the person's life is and how they should behave to others who might be weaker than them by observing their grandparents' death or by interacting with other family members like younger cousins.

In conclusion, although it might be challenging to have a big family with varied generations, I believe that it has a great influence on our society for those two reasons above.

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2015-06-19 piyo 80 Read full essay
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which consists of parents and a child, which has led our society to an uncomfortable one
Description: don't put two 'which' in one sentence

a child tend to be selfish
a child tends to be selfish

is not accept
is not acceptable

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Score: ? in 30
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 414 350
No. of Characters: 1872 1500
No. of Different Words: 190 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.511 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.522 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.594 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.875 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.069 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.341 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.514 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.147 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5