TPO-13 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The extended family (grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles) is less important now than it was in the past.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Family is one of the first group that an individual engages to it unconsciously. A family is not confined into parents and their children, it implies parents of parents, their siblings, children of siblings and the list goes on with the other relatives. Therefore, family may convert to an extended family. Some people agree that the extended family is less important now than it was in the past, others disagree. Even though The extended family is beneficiary for people in childhood because children can play with their relatives as their first friends and their playmates, in my view, nowadays it is less important than the past because of two important reasons.

First, people prefer to live on their own rather than expanded families. Due to the contemporary living trends, people are not dependable on each other compared to the past. Priorities in life change because the style alters. One of the most significant factors that impact the lifestyle is the social network. every person in a social network has many friends, which are not obligatory friends or family but choosable friends. People prefer to choose their friends and have the right to choose. This right has a direct effect on connection with families, which makes it lighter.

Second, you cannot trust your family members like before. Today, everybody become more sinister because of economical issues or desire to be ostentatious. They may even fraud their own relatives for some bux more. For example, I remember my uncle which was trusted by his relatives. Someday he came up with an idea about investing in a company which provided goods. He deceived his brothers and sisters, which one of them is my father, to buy some shares from this industrial company. When he succeed to lure them for investing money and give all the money which was an enormous quantity, he suddenly disappeared. He did not answer his phone, and no one had an idea where he was. Even we were worried that he might had an accident or something. Later, we found out that our beloved uncle was a fraud, and he steal all of the money and exit the country for his own sake. He destroyed all the faithfulness and loyalty that he achieved in all of those years by doing something vicious. This event learned me that even you share the same blood with your family members, they may be sinister and want to make harm to you. Thus, trusting a friend may be better because you do not expect for a friend to be loyal.

Therefore, in this era, people are not reliable on the extended family and its members. They prefer to rely on their own.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 312, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Every
...ct the lifestyle is the social network. every person in a social network has many fri...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 108, Rule ID: ECONOMICAL_ECONOMIC[1]
Message: Did you mean 'economic' (=connected with economy)?
Suggestion: economic
...erybody become more sinister because of economical issues or desire to be ostentatious. Th...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 494, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'succeeds'.
Suggestion: succeeds
...s from this industrial company. When he succeed to lure them for investing money and gi...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 809, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'steals'.
Suggestion: steals
...t our beloved uncle was a fraud, and he steal all of the money and exit the country f...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 815, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...beloved uncle was a fraud, and he steal all of the money and exit the country for his own ...
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, may, second, so, therefore, thus, for example, in my view

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 60.0 43.0788530466 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 8.0752688172 12% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2138.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 449.0 407.700716846 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.76169265033 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60321845022 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47637434542 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.521158129176 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 666.0 618.680645161 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.092620446 48.9658058833 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 79.1851851852 100.406767564 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.6296296296 20.6045352989 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.7037037037 5.45110844103 50% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.162578751566 0.236089414692 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0456606283339 0.076458572812 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0610933493012 0.0737576698707 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0943991992545 0.150856017488 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0613856667419 0.0645574589148 95% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.3 11.7677419355 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 10.1575268817 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.03 10.9000537634 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.56 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 86.8835125448 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.