TPO 14 – task 2: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is more beneficial to travel in your own country rather than traveling to foreign countries.
We live in the era of technology in which traveling to foreign countries has become an indisputable part of our life. People travel to foreign countries for many reasons such as business, tourism, and adventure. Some individuals agree that people benefit more from traveling in their own country than from travelling to foreign countries; some others disagree. From my perspective, I oppose the statement based on two significant reasons.
To begin with, people gain more experience and information from travelling to foreign countries. Visiting a place that is different in various aspects could be very eye-opening and instructive. The veracity of this claim can be evaluated through a meticulous observation on the mass of examples; almost all successful businesspersons such as Steve Jobs, Bill Gates used to travel to foreign countries in order to analyze the market, evaluate their business locally in other countries, and to expand their market their. By using the experience from these travels, a smart businessperson can make important decision in order to prosper his or her business. Moreover, people can learn about other cultures and increase their knowledge. For instance, in my first travel to India, I saw distinct lifestyles and customs, which were an excellent demonstration of their culture. That trip, although it was very short, was very useful and enriching for me.
Beside the above-mentioned reason, traveling to foreign countries can help a country prosper economically. New technologies can be learnt and brought to the country when sophisticated and educated persons travel to foreign countries, which would be very beneficial for the developing countries. A vivid example can be given to shed light on what was alluded to above. PhD students or employees working at R&D division of companies can register for a post-doc education and learn more about a new technology. When they come back to their country, numerous industries and research institutes can use the novel technology in order to expand their business. This would be very beneficial for developing countries. With the advent of new technology, many job opportunities in the industries would become available and the country would excel economically.
Having discussed this issue from this point of view, I would rather to look at it from another viewpoint. Some argue that traveling in their own country aid them to know their own culture better. Indeed, people can help their society more if they get to know their compatriots and their demands better. If they focus on foreign countries, they may forget about their country and their people.
All in all, although some sophisticated people may prove the otherwise, I am still against the statement. As I elaborated in the body paragraphs, the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.
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The third paragraph is not exactly right on the topic.
and how do you get this: If they focus on foreign countries, they may forget about their country and their people. ? Don't make a TOEFL essay complicated. You can simply apply 'save time', 'save money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' to all essay/speaking topics.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? in 30
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 450 350
No. of Characters: 2324 1500
No. of Different Words: 234 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.606 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.164 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.882 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 167 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 136 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 97 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 72 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.358 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.375 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.297 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.495 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.092 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5