TPO 21
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.
In my opinion, studying hard is much more important than communication capability. I feel this way for few several reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, education which is mainstay of today's society is basic mandatory to be hired. Nowadays, every company require new workers to be well informed and practiced for their particular profession, which is significant matter to perform own job properly. In other words, everyone needs qualification to fulfill employers' expectation. My brother's experience is a compelling example of this. Last year, he went to interview of Mongolian company, unfortunately, he could not introduce him very well because he is introvert who graduated in post graduate school with high grade. Fortunately, as soon as he showed his qualification of university, he was employed although he could not expressed his wish in the interview. Moreover, he is executive worker thanks to his well education but communication skill.
Secondly, people who had been studying hard at school tend to have a great personality. To be more specific they are hard working and ambitious. Thereby, they are more likely to invest their effort for their job ultimately, which helps company to succeed and prosper. For instance,last year, my sister who accustomed herself to exert to perform everything to perfectly, was employed in high school to teach mathematics. Since she started teaching students, grade and knowledge of her pupil has been increased much. This improvement was obviously caused by my sister because she has been helping students for extra time to understand every topic properly.
In conclusion, I am of the opinion that being well educated in school is crucial for future achievement. This is because privileged qualification is respected by every company and studying changes the personal behavior in many good ways.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 686, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: 'express'
Suggestion: express
..., he was employed although he could not expressed his wish in the interview. Moreover, he...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 281, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , last
...any to succeed and prosper. For instance,last year, my sister who accustomed herself ...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, well, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, first of all, in my opinion, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 32.0 43.0788530466 74% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 52.1666666667 69% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1586.0 1977.66487455 80% => OK
No of words: 297.0 407.700716846 73% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.34006734007 4.8611393121 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.15134772569 4.48103885553 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.02421760833 2.67179642975 113% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 212.727598566 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.612794612795 0.524837075471 117% => OK
syllable_count: 495.0 618.680645161 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.7447004394 48.9658058833 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.2941176471 100.406767564 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.4705882353 20.6045352989 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.88235294118 5.45110844103 145% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.182666127253 0.236089414692 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0581693683852 0.076458572812 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0572975835545 0.0737576698707 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.123978667936 0.150856017488 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0444423743429 0.0645574589148 69% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 11.7677419355 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.76 58.1214874552 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.4 10.9000537634 123% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.11 8.01818996416 114% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 86.8835125448 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.