TPO-24:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
One of the main dilemmas parents are faced when their children turn to their teen years is how they can best prepare them for adulthood; showing them the ups and downs of life, teaching them responsibility and the ability to make great decisions. One of the many avenues proposed to prepare teenagers for adult life is for them to take on part-time job. Although many might disagree with this approach, arguing that such method might interfere with their education and distract them from school or cause them to become isolated from their family in a young and critical age, I think enrolling in a partial job might benefit them in many ways. Some of the key benefits I think might come from a part time job for teenaged children are mentioned below.
Up to adolescence, most children are quite pampered with very few responsibilities, receiving much attention and focus from their parents who tend to all their needs. Upon entering the teenaged years, these children will feel the need to become more independent and detached from their families, but some might do so in ways that could lead to self-harm. Taking on a part-time job, will give teenagers the independence they crave, but in a healthy and controlled environment. With their need for independence met, they will have less motivation, and less time, to get indulged in drugs and other activities that could be of hazard to them and their surroundings. Also, in a healthy and promoting work environment, they can become more motivated to strive for a better future and learn their interests, desires and potentials. Hence, this early sense of independence could lead to more motivation to endeavor in school and work towards a better future and lessen their tendency towards drugs and other threatening activities, helping them evolve into successful adults.
Also, taking on a partial job will teach them many of the values needed in adulthood; values that have much deeper impact when absorbed through personal experience. The value of money is one of these merits. Children tend to be ignorant of the hard work and time which is needed to make each dollar. Having to designate hours, which could be used for rest, hanging out with friends or other leisure activities, on a job in order to be paid will familiarize them with the value of money and teach them how to manage and spend the money they make. Another principal that can be learned through an adolescent job experience, is the value of time. Upon embarking on a job, teens will realize they have many free hours in a day which they can put to great use. They will learn punctuality, how to manage their hours in a way so they can tend to their school, work, family and friends, and how to make use of their free time so they can become prosperous adults.
In general, I believe much benefit can derive from partial jobs for adolescents, putting them on the right track to a successful adulthood. Although, there are many disadvantages, I think the lessons which can be learned such as the value of money and time, and the motivation which can be triggered by enrolling in a partial job is much greater.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 364, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun might seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much might', 'a good deal of might'.
Suggestion: much might; a good deal of might
...them to take on part-time job. Although many might disagree with this approach, arguing th...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 644, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: Some
...al job might benefit them in many ways. Some of the key benefits I think might come from a ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 695, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
... key benefits I think might come from a part time job for teenaged children are mentioned...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, so, i think, in general, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 27.0 9.8082437276 275% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 27.0 13.8261648746 195% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 50.0 43.0788530466 116% => OK
Preposition: 79.0 52.1666666667 151% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2591.0 1977.66487455 131% => OK
No of words: 541.0 407.700716846 133% => OK
Chars per words: 4.78927911275 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.82280071112 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60331368007 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 239.0 212.727598566 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.441774491682 0.524837075471 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 796.5 618.680645161 129% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 28.0 20.1344086022 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 63.0390988026 48.9658058833 129% => OK
Chars per sentence: 136.368421053 100.406767564 136% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.4736842105 20.6045352989 138% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.84210526316 5.45110844103 52% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.281875210911 0.236089414692 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.105351941577 0.076458572812 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0721963574946 0.0737576698707 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.184227488673 0.150856017488 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0833607121397 0.0645574589148 129% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 11.7677419355 131% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 58.1214874552 89% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.8 10.9000537634 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.03 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 86.8835125448 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 10.002688172 180% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.0537634409 131% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.