By increasing use of new technologies among people and also rapid changing rate of this technologies, jobs effected more than what was before. New jobs established to satisfy demand for new technology and new jobs created to support successful utilize of this new technologies among people. So, by this means in our altering world, there is no secure job actually. Jobs create and vanish in periods shorter than a human life. In my opinion people should take more satisfying jobs rather than what so called secure jobs for two following reasons.
First, even if we consider secure jobs as long lasting jobs that a human can stay in that job as many years as he wants, then there are lots of long term effects that we should consider, especially in persons who don't find their job satisfying. These effects could cause disappointments. These disappointments cause a situation that a person could not thrive in his job and this make more disappointment too. For example, when I graduated from university, I looked for available jobs in Baneh, city I was born and grew up. Lots of jobs was related to trading domestic electrical devices and having a shop selling them. I took that job and opened my own shop. That was a secure job with a secure profits. But at the very first moment I began this job I did not like it and after a while this effected my passion for it. I feel disappointed and this feeling gradually overcame me. After two years, what assumed a secure job turn into a fragile job for me which I had no profits in it.
Second, as I mentioned before, our world changes in a rapid rate and almost every day some new technologies introduce to people. This new technologies bring new jobs with them so everyday there are lots of job opportunities created and is vacant for new applicants. So, people can wait and search for their satisfying jobs much less than before. I have read an article about jobs that internet of things could create. At first, it looks like lots of jobs will be destroyed by this new technology, but this new technology like other technologies, opens up a vast fields of job opportunities including advertising, designing, manufacturing, selling and maintaining. So, it deems that this new technology would create at least two billion jobs worldwide.
By reasons mentioned above, taking a secure job could cause a serious problems and long term effects on a person who don't like it. Also, looking for a satisfying job rather than taking a secure job, is not a time consuming process . Moreover, in our world, jobs are not as secure as they were before. Rapid altering rate of technologies could vanish jobs as fast as they create them.
- 34 - Integrated: Why did the sea cows in Siberia become extinct? 71
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer 90
- TPO-27 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying.Use specific reasons and ex 70
- TPO-33 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?When teachers assign projects on which students must work together, the students learn much more effectively than when they are asked to work alone on projects.Use spe 70
- TOEFL TPO 25 - Integrated Writing Task 85
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 84, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
... people and also rapid changing rate of this technologies, jobs effected more than w...
^^^^
Line 3, column 214, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...uld consider, especially in persons who dont find their job satisfying. These effect...
^^^^
Line 3, column 696, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'profit'?
Suggestion: profit
...op. That was a secure job with a secure profits. But at the very first moment I began t...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 180, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...echnologies bring new jobs with them so everyday there are lots of job opportunities cre...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 118, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...s and long term effects on a person who dont like it. Also, looking for a satisfying...
^^^^
Line 7, column 231, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ure job, is not a time consuming process . Moreover, in our world, jobs are not as...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, if, look, moreover, second, so, then, while, at least, for example, i feel, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 56.0 43.0788530466 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 52.0 52.1666666667 100% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2212.0 1977.66487455 112% => OK
No of words: 466.0 407.700716846 114% => OK
Chars per words: 4.74678111588 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64618479453 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7285505411 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 212.727598566 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.484978540773 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 685.8 618.680645161 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.4532797788 48.9658058833 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.48 100.406767564 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.64 20.6045352989 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.68 5.45110844103 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.283878053722 0.236089414692 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.103570895759 0.076458572812 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0681788340299 0.0737576698707 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.207998726039 0.150856017488 138% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0304237804978 0.0645574589148 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.3 11.7677419355 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.27 10.9000537634 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.61 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 86.8835125448 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.