Integrated task : Zebra Mussels | It is better for children to choose job that are similar to their parent jobs?listening exercises •MessageAuthorToefl writting integrated: Britain #1 (permalink) Fri May 29, 2015 21:17 pm Toefl writting integrated: Br

In today's world, children require a high knowledge to inter to their community as an employee. Educational systems that exist nowadays, help young people to learn enough about fields of works and prepare them for their future life. But by increasing amount also huge rate of changing in knowledge and skills required for jobs, children must spend most of their childhood and a part of their adulthood to learn requirements of available jobs. However, children can reduce intensity of those requirements by choosing jobs that are similar to their parents job. So in my opinion its better for children to choose jobs as similar as to their parents jobs for two following reasons.

First, A huge part of children spend their free time in part-time jobs. Most of this part time jobs are related to their parents jobs. Imagine a farmer family which children of that family help their parents in affairs related to farm and learn much of there methods. In this family when children reach their adulthood, they already know vast amount of farming methods. Also by choosing their parents job as farmer, they don't have to spend lot of time to learn new skills. So by choosing their parents job, these children can aim their obligatory duties toward their future job as farmers and by this mean they can decrease a huge effort that needs to learn new skills. Moreover, they start their job so much sooner than their counterparts which haven't choose their parent job.

Second, in nowadays commerce communities, ambitious young graduated people needs at least an extra-ordinary fund to start their commerce activity. This new incomers to trade also have troubles with lack of experience and flexibility in their trading styles. So as time goes, they lost much of their fund to attain requisite experience in trading. But young people who choose to follow their parents job have none of this problems. They can exploit their parents experience and start at basis Which they created before. By that risk of losing money and time will be diminished. For example in my family my brother chose to follow my father job. At first steps in his own business he was going to make wrong decisions which any of them could destroy his trading activities. But my father advice him in his decisions and aid him whenever it was possible. Also at his starting point, he started his business at my father's shop and used facilities that was already exists there.

by reasons mentioned above, I conclude that children who choose their parent have a higher chance to attain a successful start in their adulthood. They can use their own and their parents experience and exploit established facilities of their parents to get a quick start in their jobs. This children also can reduce the time which is needed for learning new skills and spend that time in other activities. So I strictly recommend children to choose jobs similar or same to their parents.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 35, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[4]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'high knowledge'.
Suggestion: high knowledge
In todays world, children require a high knowledge to inter to their community as an emplo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 86, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...ee time in part-time jobs. Most of this part time jobs are related to their parents jobs....
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 371, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...dy know vast amount of farming methods. Also by choosing their parents job as farmer...
^^^^
Line 3, column 422, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...osing their parents job as farmer, they dont have to spend lot of time to learn new ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 747, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: haven't
...ch sooner than their counterparts which havent choose their parent job. Second, in ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 9, Rule ID: IN_NOWADAYS[1]
Message: nowadays is used without 'in'. Use simply: 'nowadays'.
Suggestion: nowadays
...ent choose their parent job. Second, in nowadays commerce communities, ambitious young g...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 417, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...o follow their parents job have none of this problems. They can exploit their parent...
^^^^
Line 5, column 853, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...s and aid him whenever it was possible. Also at his starting point, he started his b...
^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: By
...ities that was already exists there. by reasons mentioned above, I conclude tha...
^^
Line 7, column 288, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: These
...nts to get a quick start in their jobs. This children also can reduce the time which...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, moreover, second, so, as to, at least, for example, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 10.4613686534 67% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 5.04856512141 178% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 7.30242825607 233% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 16.0 12.0772626932 132% => OK
Pronoun: 74.0 22.412803532 330% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 72.0 30.3222958057 237% => Less preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 4.0 5.01324503311 80% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2433.0 1373.03311258 177% => OK
No of words: 498.0 270.72406181 184% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.88554216867 5.08290768461 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72397222731 4.04702891845 117% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.43775513917 2.5805825403 94% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 145.348785872 151% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.439759036145 0.540411800872 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 721.8 419.366225166 172% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.55342163355 90% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 3.25607064018 338% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 1.0 8.23620309051 12% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.25165562914 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.51434878587 198% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 2.5761589404 233% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 13.0662251656 199% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 21.2450331126 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.6181519639 49.2860985944 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.5769230769 110.228320801 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.1538461538 21.698381199 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.69230769231 7.06452816374 52% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 4.19205298013 239% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 4.33554083885 254% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 4.45695364238 135% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.27373068433 211% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.215493986349 0.272083759551 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0848990610726 0.0996497079465 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0768484708135 0.0662205650399 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.168871435826 0.162205337803 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0608160081626 0.0443174109184 137% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 13.3589403974 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 53.8541721854 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 11.0289183223 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.08 12.2367328918 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.37 8.42419426049 87% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 63.6247240618 138% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.7273730684 103% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.498013245 91% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.2008830022 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 20 minutes.

Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.