TPO 35 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Nowadays, celebrities and famous personalities are always part of our daily routine. We see and know every movie and TV show they make and as an audience it makes us happy and relax to watch their performance on screen. Some people believed that celebrities deserves privacy in their lives. In my humble opinion, every individuals deserves privacy whether you are well known or not. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, famous actors are constantly on the limelight and every little actions they make are on headlines of magazines and tabloids. As a result of their fame and power they lose their sense of personal space and privacy. One good example is Princess Diana, lose her privacy because she is well known person globally. People from all walks of life know her and idolizes her belief and campaign in her reign as Princess of Wales. She was always with her bodyguards due to security reasons and paparazzi wants to capture her image where every she goes. A tragedy happened Diana wants to escape the paparazzi and her car smashed to the pavement of the street and had a major car accident. Her life was sacrificed because the photographer wanted to get news for their magazine. Hence, Diana died because of this accident. If only she had a chance for her privacy, her life would not be compromised.
Secondly, famous entertainers dilemma from being famous is that they can't have a normal life. They cannot go to movies or do their grocery without being recognized and its hard for celebrities to enjoy their free time. Also, having no privacy in life has negative result for an individual such as poor health and emotional well being decline. For example, Lindsay Lohan a famous hollywood actress, her privacy was always on the line. She can't hang out with friends without her photo being published and there are always nasty rumors about her lifestyle. It did aggravate her health and emotional status, she suffered from depression and used drugs as a result of media always writing negative comments about the actress. Every person has their own right for their privacy, celebrities are just doing their work to make us entertained and we should spare their privacy because it's their life after all.
To summarize, I believe that famous people deserves their own privacy. This is because losing one's privacy has negative impact on the person such as health and emotional decline. And I think that it is unfair that they will lose their privacy just because we want to know everything about them.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 18, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'entertainers'' or 'entertainer's'?
Suggestion: entertainers'; entertainer's
...not be compromised. Secondly, famous entertainers dilemma from being famous is that they ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 70, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
... dilemma from being famous is that they cant have a normal life. They cannot go to m...
^^^^
Line 5, column 439, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...her privacy was always on the line. She cant hang out with friends without her photo...
^^^^
Line 5, column 439, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'She' must be used with a third-person verb: 'cants'.
Suggestion: cants
...her privacy was always on the line. She cant hang out with friends without her photo...
^^^^
Line 5, column 877, Rule ID: IT_IS[17]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
...d we should spare their privacy because its their life after all. To summarize, ...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, hence, if, second, secondly, so, well, after all, for example, i feel, i think, such as, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 24.0 13.8261648746 174% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 66.0 43.0788530466 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 43.0 52.1666666667 82% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2135.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 441.0 407.700716846 108% => OK
Chars per words: 4.84126984127 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58257569496 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.41440914236 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 212.727598566 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.50566893424 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 680.4 618.680645161 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 30.7878042232 48.9658058833 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.9583333333 100.406767564 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.375 20.6045352989 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.29166666667 5.45110844103 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.127102959584 0.236089414692 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0429590082804 0.076458572812 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0398167048389 0.0737576698707 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0880816217896 0.150856017488 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0310798560033 0.0645574589148 48% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 11.7677419355 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.79 10.9000537634 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.64 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 86.8835125448 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.