In today's competitive world we live in, in which children's prosperity is considered extremely important for all parents, a person would not be off the point to assume that parents' encouragement toward their offspring play a key role to that end. However, whether parents should offer money for their children's high point or not has long been considered as a subject of debate among academicians. One popular opinion regarding this issue states that offering money to children for each high mark is a good idea and gives incentive to students. I personally concur with this thesis and attempt to bring the most discernible reasons in the ensuing lines.
One imperative idea coming to mind at first is about offspring's prosperity in their education. It is crystal clear that, money could be a great incentive for kids in that ages. Therefore, if parents gave their offspring some money every time s/he gets a high grade, children would be so excitement. such circumstances positively affect the children's effort toward acquiring the best mark s/he could. this remarkable fact contributes to the children's prosperity in his or her education. To illustrate my point, let me elaborate upon it by bring an explanation. Consider a fourteen-year-old student embarking on conducting some effort to his final exam. It is obvious that, boys in these ages love video games such as X-BOX which is so expensive. In this situation, if his parents told that they gave him money to buy that apparatus merely on the condition that he gets a great mark on his final exams' courses, he would perform his best to be prosperous on final exams and buy X-BOX. Thereby, the more incentive a student has, the more prosperity he gains toward his education.
Increasing children's self-reliance is the second interesting point which deserves some words here. It is obvious that, if parents offered their child some money in order to him gets an acceptable mark in his exams, that child would believe that their parents trust his ability to be successful in his study. According to Dr. Hasan Zohoor, a prominent and highly respected psychologist at the University of Tehran, betting some money on a person's ability to conduct a certain work leads to the gratification of that person's ego. This provides, further legitimacy and support for the idea that as acquiring a great mark is kind of a personal ability, parents by offering money to their offspring for this regard, increase their child's self-confidence. Thus, no one could underestimate the profound effect of offering money regarding to child's self-esteem being increased.
To put it briefly, considering the two reasons I gave, although it is not affordable for parents in order to give money to their offspring every time s/he gets a great mark, this situation contributes to increasing the child's prosperity and self-esteem as well. All in all, it is highly suggested a survey be conducted in order to assess the general opinion of the parents and some psychologist in this area regarding such an issue.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion: Such
...grade, children would be so excitement. such circumstances positively affect the chi...
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Suggestion: This
...ard acquiring the best mark s/he could. this remarkable fact contributes to the chil...
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Line 5, column 439, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'persons'' or 'person's'?
Suggestion: persons'; person's
...sity of Tehran, betting some money on a persons ability to conduct a certain work leads...
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Line 5, column 481, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'lead'?
Suggestion: lead
...rsons ability to conduct a certain work leads to the gratification of that persons eg...
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Line 5, column 516, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'persons'' or 'person's'?
Suggestion: persons'; person's
...work leads to the gratification of that persons ego. This provides, further legitimacy ...
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Line 5, column 622, Rule ID: KIND_OF_A[1]
Message: Don't include 'a' after a classification term. Use simply 'kind of'.
Suggestion: kind of
... idea that as acquiring a great mark is kind of a personal ability, parents by offering m...
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Line 5, column 871, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... to childs self-esteem being increased. To put it briefly, considering the two r...
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Line 7, column 434, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...t in this area regarding such an issue.
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
briefly, but, first, however, if, regarding, second, so, therefore, thus, well, kind of, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 63.0 43.0788530466 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 66.0 52.1666666667 127% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2543.0 1977.66487455 129% => OK
No of words: 504.0 407.700716846 124% => OK
Chars per words: 5.04563492063 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.73813722054 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88018090046 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 240.0 212.727598566 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.47619047619 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 788.4 618.680645161 127% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.064628787 48.9658058833 125% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.095238095 100.406767564 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.0 20.6045352989 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.57142857143 5.45110844103 84% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.26688323333 0.236089414692 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0853075858599 0.076458572812 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0683825779983 0.0737576698707 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.184021307499 0.150856017488 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0380742938442 0.0645574589148 59% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 11.7677419355 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 58.1214874552 81% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 10.1575268817 125% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.31 10.9000537634 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.49 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 117.0 86.8835125448 135% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.