TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

When thinking about issue that parent should offer their youngsters rewards for each time they get good performance in school, diverse individuals will have various ideas. Some citizens claim that parents should give their children money for it can encourage them to study hard and enable them to have a good performance. However, from where I stand, we should never abet youngsters to get rewards when they attain high grade, because it has no beneficial for their future career.

First and foremost, young people will have no motivation to succeed in other fields. Nowadays, more and more kids are spoiled by their parents, and parents give them a large amount leisure money when they get good a mark. As a result, when they handle other complicated tasks, they will have limited resolve to tackle them since they are intricate and time-consuming. Gradually, they will become learning machine which only knows how to study to get money and has no determination to deal with other missions. Take my friend Lisa as an example. Lisa's farther told her that if she can attain a high mark on her any examination, then he would buy anything she wanted as a reward. So Lisa always performed good on her examinations. And Lisa went to a renowned college and got involved in several communities, however, most of these communities asked her to quit after one year because she virtually cannot tackle anything well. From my perspective this can largely attribute to her farther's reward policy. In this way, parents should not use money to inspire their youngsters to achieve academic success.

Furthermore, judging children's performance only in academic field is arbitrary and one-sided. Although some students have difficulty in study, they can still excel in other fields such as, sports and music. In addition, the preeminent characteristics of a person can also be the attribution that he got reward. Strength high grade excessively may make kids feel frustrated and can be detrimental to their further development. For instance, if a kid does well in basketball but only possesses a mediocre grade, then his parents should offer him award for his basketball talent rather than require him to give up basketball and put all his heart on learning.

In a nutshell, offer youngsters money for they get high mark in school will not only prevent them from career success, but also can influence their development in other domains. Therefore, I strongly dissent from this measure.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 80, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hould offer their youngsters rewards for each time they get good performance in s...
^^
Line 3, column 407, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to machine'
Suggestion: to machine
...g. Gradually, they will become learning machine which only know how to study to get mon...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 659, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'wants'.
Suggestion: wants
...ination, then he would buy anything she want as a reward. So Lisa always performed g...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, however, if, may, so, then, therefore, well, for instance, in addition, such as, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 15.1003584229 33% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 9.8082437276 204% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 51.0 43.0788530466 118% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 52.1666666667 79% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2064.0 1977.66487455 104% => OK
No of words: 407.0 407.700716846 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.07125307125 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49157444576 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70602654671 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 212.727598566 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.565110565111 0.524837075471 108% => OK
syllable_count: 628.2 618.680645161 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.4984848253 48.9658058833 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.2 100.406767564 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.35 20.6045352989 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.15 5.45110844103 113% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.24838038396 0.236089414692 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0742660355309 0.076458572812 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0704268752719 0.0737576698707 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.172872662712 0.150856017488 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0667233227417 0.0645574589148 103% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 11.7677419355 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 10.9000537634 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.47 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 86.8835125448 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.